Comments for The Worst Ending http://theworstending.com a writing community for teens Fri, 10 Feb 2012 00:44:12 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3 Comment on Unglossed by Hades http://theworstending.com/blog/2012/01/27/unglossed-3/comment-page-1/#comment-6396 Hades Fri, 10 Feb 2012 00:44:12 +0000 http://theworstending.com/?p=6359#comment-6396 I submitted a little while ago, but after the site changed adresses. I submitted a little while ago, but after the site changed adresses.

]]> Comment on Call by Sandy Crow http://theworstending.com/blog/2009/08/13/call/comment-page-1/#comment-6395 Sandy Crow Thu, 09 Feb 2012 13:27:24 +0000 http://theworstending.com/?p=3556#comment-6395 Oh. my. gosh. I want to put this to music!! Oh. my. gosh. I want to put this to music!!

]]> Comment on In Between by Miracle by Sandy Crow http://theworstending.com/blog/2009/08/28/in-between-by-miracle/comment-page-1/#comment-6394 Sandy Crow Thu, 09 Feb 2012 13:25:00 +0000 http://theworstending.com/?p=3759#comment-6394 gaaaahhhh I'M FINDING SO MUCH AWESOME STUFF BY YOU. 0.0 gaaaahhhh I’M FINDING SO MUCH AWESOME STUFF BY YOU. 0.0

]]> Comment on Unglossed by Sandy Crow http://theworstending.com/blog/2012/01/27/unglossed-3/comment-page-1/#comment-6393 Sandy Crow Thu, 09 Feb 2012 06:10:45 +0000 http://theworstending.com/?p=6359#comment-6393 Me too!!! I think I submitted something last year, and I sent one in a few weeks ago or so... Me too!!! I think I submitted something last year, and I sent one in a few weeks ago or so…

]]> Comment on Shieldwolf Chapter 1: Avoidance Techniques by Hades by Hades http://theworstending.com/blog/2012/01/27/shieldwolf-chapter-1-avoidance-techniques-by-hades/comment-page-1/#comment-6392 Hades Thu, 09 Feb 2012 02:22:08 +0000 http://theworstending.com/?p=6364#comment-6392 1. Yes I did. Than you! 2. I mention his name in the first sentence. 3. Again, thank you. I do not have a firm grasp on the mechanics of dialoug. I got the inspiration when I thought I heard my mom say "Jonathan and the wolf". It seemed like a good title for a story, and the rest followed. It actually started out as a sort of fairy tale idea in the tradition of the Brothers Grimm. It evolved into its current form when I merged that idea with an abandoned story I gave up writing a couple years ago. 1. Yes I did. Than you!
2. I mention his name in the first sentence.
3. Again, thank you. I do not have a firm grasp on the mechanics of dialoug.

I got the inspiration when I thought I heard my mom say “Jonathan and the wolf”. It seemed like a good title for a story, and the rest followed. It actually started out as a sort of fairy tale idea in the tradition of the Brothers Grimm. It evolved into its current form when I merged that idea with an abandoned story I gave up writing a couple years ago.

]]> Comment on Shieldwolf Prologue by Hades by Hades http://theworstending.com/blog/2012/01/27/shieldwolf-by-hades/comment-page-1/#comment-6391 Hades Thu, 09 Feb 2012 02:18:45 +0000 http://theworstending.com/?p=6362#comment-6391 It is snowing, but it has just started to snow, and the trees are evergreens. I understand that that is kind of confusing, though. It is snowing, but it has just started to snow, and the trees are evergreens. I understand that that is kind of confusing, though.

]]> Comment on Shieldwolf Chapter 1: Avoidance Techniques by Hades by Empathy http://theworstending.com/blog/2012/01/27/shieldwolf-chapter-1-avoidance-techniques-by-hades/comment-page-1/#comment-6390 Empathy Wed, 08 Feb 2012 00:41:49 +0000 http://theworstending.com/?p=6364#comment-6390 Critiques: "The nightmare world of wolves and wind and woods seemed much farther that a wall’s width away." I think you mean "than a wall's width away." I understand in the prologue, keeping him unnamed, but in this chapter you might want to give "the boy" a name sooner. Maybe that's just me though. The pronoun ("he") kinda confused me when he was describing his siblings. “Nothing is going on Dad. I’m fine. Really Dad. I’m alright.” Just so you know, there needs to be a comma after "going on" and "Really." :) “Go away Ben! I’m sick.” Comma after "away." :) “Yeah. Having some would probably help me feel better. Can you bring it up before you go? Thanks Dad.” Comma after "Thanks." "Alright. Bye Dad.” Comma after "bye." :D “Growl.” it said. There should be a comma after "growl." :) So, this is not what I expected it to be. So far, you're spinning a very fine web of mystery. Soooo cool. :D It's awesome! I'll be reading the next chapter as soon as I can. Where'd you get the inspiration for it? Keep writing. :D ciao, Em Critiques: “The nightmare world of wolves and wind and woods seemed much farther that a wall’s width away.” I think you mean “than a wall’s width away.”

I understand in the prologue, keeping him unnamed, but in this chapter you might want to give “the boy” a name sooner. Maybe that’s just me though. The pronoun (“he”) kinda confused me when he was describing his siblings.

“Nothing is going on Dad. I’m fine. Really Dad. I’m alright.” Just so you know, there needs to be a comma after “going on” and “Really.” :)

“Go away Ben! I’m sick.” Comma after “away.” :)

“Yeah. Having some would probably help me feel better. Can you bring it up before you go? Thanks Dad.” Comma after “Thanks.”

“Alright. Bye Dad.” Comma after “bye.” :D

“Growl.” it said. There should be a comma after “growl.” :)

So, this is not what I expected it to be. So far, you’re spinning a very fine web of mystery. Soooo cool. :D It’s awesome! I’ll be reading the next chapter as soon as I can. Where’d you get the inspiration for it?

Keep writing. :D

ciao,
Em

]]> Comment on Shieldwolf Prologue by Hades by Empathy http://theworstending.com/blog/2012/01/27/shieldwolf-by-hades/comment-page-1/#comment-6389 Empathy Wed, 08 Feb 2012 00:15:08 +0000 http://theworstending.com/?p=6362#comment-6389 Hmmm... A very hooking prologue. I love it and the imagery. :D "Their green shadow had already engulfed him." I understand what you're saying here, but it is snowing. Wouldn't they be mostly white by then? :) Anyway, this is really good. You're a great writer, Hades. It kinda freaked me out, actually. I kept expecting the crow to say, "Nevermore." But I guess it wouldn't, since it's not a raven, is it? Never mind, lol. I shall read on! Good job, Hades! ciao, Em Hmmm… A very hooking prologue. I love it and the imagery. :D

“Their green shadow had already engulfed him.” I understand what you’re saying here, but it is snowing. Wouldn’t they be mostly white by then? :)

Anyway, this is really good. You’re a great writer, Hades. It kinda freaked me out, actually. I kept expecting the crow to say, “Nevermore.” But I guess it wouldn’t, since it’s not a raven, is it? Never mind, lol.

I shall read on! Good job, Hades!

ciao,
Em

]]> Comment on Don’t really have a title because I just started writing… by taleteller http://theworstending.com/blog/2012/01/22/dont-really-have-a-title-because-i-just-started-writing/comment-page-1/#comment-6388 taleteller Sun, 05 Feb 2012 06:12:05 +0000 http://theworstending.com/?p=6335#comment-6388 Indeed! Indeed!

]]> Comment on Knowing by Sandy Crow http://theworstending.com/blog/2009/08/03/knowing/comment-page-1/#comment-6387 Sandy Crow Thu, 02 Feb 2012 05:36:29 +0000 http://theworstending.com/?p=3461#comment-6387 Okay. I'm going to do this for speech class. It has the perfect theme to go with mine (if we choose to present an original poem, we have to also do one on the same topic that we DIDN'T write ourselves). So. I'm doing this. because. i. love. it. SEEEEERIOUSLY THIS HAS GOTTA BE ONE OF MY FAVORITE POEMS EVER. =) Okay. I’m going to do this for speech class. It has the perfect theme to go with mine (if we choose to present an original poem, we have to also do one on the same topic that we DIDN’T write ourselves). So. I’m doing this. because. i. love. it.

SEEEEERIOUSLY THIS HAS GOTTA BE ONE OF MY FAVORITE POEMS EVER. =)

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