Revulsion

February 17, 2012

By Hades

The crossroads of memory and

imagination a dusty location

history- the children’s propaganda version;

 

that unattractive moral hypocrisy (we are all a part) of broken

truth that extends only so far then shies away:

the event horizon of a half-lie;

 

a broken truth less telling than falsehood for

an outright inversion reveals

as much as it conceals-

 

every action shows a little more; you wake up feeling

like a chipped mirror or

something more organic…

 

…but decayed.

 

Because you can’t defy observation

there’s no escaping speculation (about insignificant

daily habits, or perhaps something perverse

 

and mildly disgusting) unlike electrons

people can’t perplex all the instruments of science

only hide in the anonymity of the crowd where

 

we think ugly thoughts about one another

but no one is anybody special.

 

Sometimes I picture myself as a character in a history book-

for characters they are, as one does not see them

with their naked/tear-streaked faces

 

turned skyward in despair and confusion-and picture pretentious  discussions

of what I wrought occurring hundreds of years later

and wonder

 

and wonder if it is worth it to strive for change

when thoughts seem static

ideals unaltered

 

I feel almost vindicated in my…

 

revulsion.

Designed by Tim Sainburg from Brambling Design

Categories: Poetry.

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The Golden Age of Friendship

February 16, 2012

By Hades

 

the cold

the pullulating masses masked and fearless

 

hiding in the library

in the curve of a stairwell…

between two white walls

 

I become a commodity

 

and the children decorate their records

with silver stars

 

how proud will you be when I bring home eleven?

 

the mother

the father

the brother/sister

the pullulating masses

masked and fearless

 

I  wanted to warn you

that such a transaction-

truth for love- can only result

in tragedy

 

oh the cold

 

my form is unfixed

I come and I go

like frost/youth/night

 

I cannot find my mask and there is a reason for disguise…!

 

the recorders

the writers

the students

so meek they inherit

 

the broken places of

light and emptiness

but not the age of Iron

 

it’s all just foil stars

marching along the paper’s edge

today/tomorrow…

 

Categories: Poetry.

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The Eater of Flowers by Hades

December 6, 2011

A story I wrote last year, but never thought to post until now.

Welcome to the Growing Land. The sun is high, and the earth is rich. The Growing Land BLOOMS. Not just during the spring like the Bright Land or the Red Land, but year round. The trees drip flower petals like clouds drip rain. No matter the season, there are at least two dozen different types of blossoms you can name, and probably twice as many you can’t. Welcome to the Land of Constant Spring.

But where there is wealth, there also is greed. Meet the Eater of Flowers. The Eater of Flowers lives in a cave, and ventures out once a year on New Year’s Eve. The Eater of Flowers is ancient, so ancient, and so hungry for the people that live amongst the blooms and blossoms and endless garlands. So hungry.

Once a year, on the night before New Year’s Eve, the people of the Growing Land select the best of their youth: the strongest, cleverest, most promising young man or woman to face the Eater of Flowers. None had ever returned.

This year, it was Chess’s turn. He was not looking forward to it. The walk itself was enough to kill, he thought. The path wound up the mountain, up and up, and up, between the flowering trees and bushes. And at the top, there was the cave. He could see it now: dark, but glowing dimly with some faint illumination.

At fifty feet, the smell of was cloying. At twenty, it smothered. Now, at the very lip of the cave, Chess was positively retching from the reek of flowers. Sweet odors wafted from the cavern’s dark recesses. Holding a cloth to his face, Chess edged into the cave.   

Hello Chess, said the Eater of Flowers. I have been waiting for you a very long time. Suncycles. Mooncycles. And you are here, today. Chess didn’t say anything. Cat got your tongue? I had hoped for some conversation. Chess was too busy to respond. When you’re face-to-face with the legendary Enemy of Your People, it is hard to engage in witty banter. This wa especially true when you were trying to draw a dagger from your belt without being noticed.

“Er…”

Er? It purred in a voice like rose petals. Er? You are inarticulate, and that is displeasing. Put the dagger away. Just because I only have one eye does not mean that I cannot see.

Chess scowled. The dagger clattered to the cave’s floor. Good boy, Chess. I don’t like games. Unless, of course I win them. I am a poor loser, you know. But, that is of no consequence. Today, I want to talk about your future. More specifically, your future in the next five minutes. The Eater of Flowers straightened its great, tree-trunk legs, and took a step toward Chess. It was directly between him and the mouth of the cave. He could smell its breath, faintly scented with honeysuckle. You see, Chess, every time the Growing Land sends a champion to face me, the same thing happens. I crack open their bones and suck out their soul flowers. Do you think this will play out any differently, Chess?

Chess did.

“I do.” he said.

And why is that? the rose petal voice was very low and sweet. Above all, it was close. Chess took a breath. The smell of flowers was overwhelming.

“Because I am different.”

He ducked under the Cyclops’s arm, and hurtled out of the mouth of the cave. Chess wasn’t brave, but he certainly wasn’t an idiot. He ran away, down the mountain path, dooming the Growing Land to another fifty years of terror.

Chess changed his name to Dreufus Duckweed, grew a beard and moved away to the North. There, he won an inn in a game of dice, got married, had five kids, and lived to the ripe, old age of ninety-seven.

The End

Categories: Fantasy Fiction, Fiction, Short Stories, WORST.

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In Praise of Selfishness by Hades

December 6, 2011

What are virtues? Hands shoot up across the classroom.

“Kindness.”

“Cleanliness.”

“Being thoughtful of others.”

“Being nice.”

And what are some vices? Again, hands rise like mushrooms after a heavy rain.

“Slovenliness. Wait, that’s a word, right?”

“Unkindness.”

“Rudeness.”

“Selfishness.”

I raise my hand.

“I disagree. Selfishness in not a vice. It’s a virtue.”

And the objections begin.

In our culture, the idea that selfishness is a vice is deeply ingrained in our collective psyche. Small children are reminded ‘not to be selfish’. When they are a little older, they learn the second half of this lesson: one ought to be selfless. I was taught this lesson by adults since before I could think. But today, I am going to question this creed. Today, I am going to be selfish.

It is generally undisputed that selflessness and altruism are good, and one ought to work for the benefit of society. Although all of these values are slightly different, they boil down to essentially the same idea: one’s individual needs and wants are not as important as the needs and wants of other people. This value is demonstrated frequently in modern culture.

One obvious example of the promotion of selflessness is modern day fictional heroes. For example, most superheroes, though motivated in part by a need for personal revenge, are fixated on saving people they have never met, usually at immense personal cost. Often, the hero will question their obsessive quest, but come to the conclusion that the greater good is more valuable than their individual needs. In real life, the individuals a society reveres are often those who are considered selfless. For example, firefighters, soldiers, doctors, and activists are often considered to be altruistic heroes.

Emphasis on selflessness and the insignificance of the individual is also found in Christianity, and other popular religions. In fact, Christianity’s most sacred individual, Jesus Christ, is worshiped in part because he ‘died for our sins’. In diverse religions, one is required to humble one’s self before god, exalting this powerful being while giving up one’s pride.

A potential counter example of this is Buddha. Although he was born into a royal family, he abandoned his responsibility to grow up to rule the kingdom, and his obligations to his family to pursue his goal of enlightenment. 1 His actions can be construed as selfish because he put his own personal quest before duty to other people.

Finally, social interactions place high value on people who are selfless. Those who are willing to sacrifice their individual wants to make the group happy are often well liked. This is especially true of those who ignore their need for solitude, privacy, and personal space.

Many of these examples of selflessness may seem purely good. After all, what could possibly be problematic about a personal philosophy that results in societal acceptance, as well as the positive feelings associated with doing nice things for others? Ultimately, the question is this: does one value societal acceptance over personal integrity? Most would argue that these options are not mutually exclusive. I, on the other hand, feel differently.

Contrary to what I have been taught, I believe that selflessness results in lack of self and lack of identity, while selfishness allows one to become independent, pursue one’s goals, and find true joy. When one is selfless, one is working for the happiness of others before one pursues one’s own goals. However, when one is working for the good of another selfless person, and that selfless person is working for your good, it is ultimately more efficient to put one’s own needs first. After all, you know better than anyone else what you need and want.

When I promote selfishness, I do not mean that one ought to work solely for one’s self at the intentional detriment of others. I merely suggest that one ought to pursue his or her goals, and seek that which brings him or her real happiness, not instant gratification. Essentially, I am talking about long term life goals, not hedonism. Whether this true joy comes from water color painting, or tinkering with car engines, one ought to do what makes him or her honestly happy. One would think that pursuing these goals with a passion would not result in societal rejection.

Although these cases are somewhat rare, there are examples of selfish heroes in literature. The best example of a selfish literary hero is Howard Roark, from Ayn Rand’s novel The Fountainhead 2. In this book, Rand discusses her philosophy on individuality, using Roark as the ultimate example of the independent man. Although I disagree with some points she makes, the novel is an excellent demonstration of the true meanings of selfishness and selflessness. Other literary examples of the selfish hero include Yossarian from Catch-22 3, and the title character of Jane Eyre 4.

In addition, many historical heroes epitomize selfishness. This is especially true of now famous artists. Vincent Van Gogh is an excellent example of a selfish figure from history. Although people disliked his paintings, he did not change his personal vision to better suit the popular style. Modifying his paintings to be more acceptable would have brought happiness to the people who saw them, and it would have financially improved his life. However, Van Gogh pursued his artistic goals. This quest ultimately resulted in his insanity and eventual suicide due to the social pressures working against him. 5

Interestingly, many times selfishness or selflessness is merely a matter of perspective. For example, great artists who sacrifice everything for their art can be seen in one of two lights: they are selfish because they pursue their own goals regardless of everyone else, or they are selfless because they give up their personal happiness to make incredible creations for humanity to enjoy.

There are immense social pressures exerted against those who are truly pursuing their own goals. Others will attempt to coerce, intimidate, or frighten them into conforming to social expectations of selflessness. If only they would compromise, just a little! If only they would tweak their artistic vision so that it would appeal to more people! However, the truly selfish will not sacrifice their personal integrity for anything. It is the driving force in their lives. Although the world frowns, those who are selfish will follow their own path.

I cannot promote selfishness as a way to write laws or govern a country. It is, instead, a way for an individual to live their life. It is the pursuit of personal goals, goals that truly matter, despite the disapproval of others. It is the unwillingness to settle for anything less than real, honest joy that comes from the actualization of one’s inner vision. Selfishness is the realization of the self.

In my class, I argued until the teacher cut us off. Perhaps there were one or two people who quietly agreed with me. Perhaps some people doubted, for a moment, the dogma of selflessness. Perhaps not. Nevertheless, I walked out of the classroom feeling warm inside. I walked out with dignity.

1. Rupert Gethin. (1998). The Foundations of Buddhism. Oxford University Press.

2. Rand, Ayn. (1943) The Fountainhead. Random House Inc.

3. Heller, Joseph. (1955) Catch-22. Random House Inc.

4. Bronte, Charlotte. (1847) Jane Eyre. Random House Inc.

5. Unknown. Unknown. Vincent van Gogh: Biography. Retrieved from http://www.vangoghgallery.com/misc/bio.html.

 

Categories: Creative Nonfiction, Must Reads, Nonfiction.

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Another Hades Poetry Splurge

August 23, 2011

Our Lady of Ashes

The bird that rises

above and without

the sparks and the smoke

from the green willow tree

 

The crows are calling

calling calling

against the sky

against and without

without and above

the red maple tree

 

Answer with lies and stones

night owls

the screeching dawn

all words and chaos

we burn

 

We are cold so we burn

our lies our hair our hours

of wasted company

perhaps cold will be our salvation

 

Cold nation

with nothing to burn

but ashes

 

 

Music Box

the grandmother has a velvet

music box that trembles out a tune

 

the dancers turn and turn

 

without anyone noticing

an old man slips away

from the edge of the party

 

into the misty night

 

he looks into the canal
in his dystopian eyes

an ivory wish

 

 

Another Day’s Contemplation

cloud watching

in the Cold Field

 

a bat

 

a dragon

 

a starved arm

 

a bridge on fire

 
washed away

with spiritual severity

 

an ornamental comb

 

a mastodon

 

a phoenix

 

a great knotted back bone

 

the winds thin fingers

there are no clouds

 

 

A Poem Thus Far Untitled:

so many hungry hands

in the broken half light

 

a smokey answer

a hazy key

 

tragedy in his dark footsteps

he turns without responding

 

 

Jormungand with Seven Serpents

I like the snake

that encircles and clasps

its tail in its jaws
it has such pale teeth
it owns oceans

oceanic eyes

it holds an icy answer

 

dont ask to keep

the elder constellations in a bronze basket

dissection

and simple contemplation

of snakes

in the pale river light

 

 

Going Home

I am from the ravens

of One Eye

An  unsentimental wisdom

I am from keys

I am from a teetering word

I am from duality

and pale flames

I am from a graveyard full of ivy

I am from long legged spiders
I am also from webs

 

I am from black velvet

and a handful of moons
I am from climbing trees

 

I am from tattered tales

and a long way from the city

 

I am from a cold ocean

 

sparks

 

silence

 

rain

 

owl feathers

 

I am from skeleton keys

Categories: Lyrical Prose, Poetry.

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Taking Refuge by Hades

February 22, 2011

 hearts wrenched apart by 

sandstorms

hurricanes

plagues of locusts

ivory emptiness

and a rib cage picked clean by lively finger

bones, a rib cages wrenched open

and left to devour the sky

the lesser ones, the smaller ones

the tiny flames sheltering in the lee of a great

stone

watching

the fig trees grow

the witch hazel blows

the green child burns with paler flames

we watch until the watching devours

us, until our eyes are too hungry for hearts

someone must shelter the polished skulls

Categories: Poetry.

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Poetry a Lethal Dosage by Hades

November 25, 2010

POCKET DICTIONARY

obscure words living damply under logs

growing in the dark

with woodlice fungus termites and rot

and many of them die there too-

living and dying in sunless oblivion

wax wane   wane wax    Circles

on circles on circles

animate ambulant words running circles in my head

ambulant is a laid back word despite its

implications   a mellow word in grey

and marmalade   supine even

supine is syrupy and muted    but

almost surreally purple with a metallic sheen

and not at all golden    supine so heavy

almost brobdingnagianly so

brobdingnagian  isn’t comfortable to say

like uttering stumbling line of ants    it stutters

off the tongue   letters coming in twos and

threes

ratatatat a shining drum with shining

sticks oompahoompah

listen to the marching band

wood wood wood wood woad road road

a bumpy road of letters

road woad wood wood woodlice termites

fungus and rot

they grow and they die and they

rot

     rot

           rot
COLORFUL POEM IN MONOCHROME

one tile grey

two tile grey

three tile grey

tiles and tiles and tile grey

grey like sun in the mist

grey like open doors

grey like a surgically clean lab

grey like being first awake

and watching the darkness all around

grey like flowers

grey like refrigerator hums

grey like ice and candle smoke and butter

grey like the tree

and grey like the lichen

grey like the only shoes that are truly loved

grey like lollipops in a shop window

also grey

grey like green and red and blue

grey like ghosts caught on doorknobs

grey like grey faces passing in a

grey grey hall

grey like raw salmon

grey like a paper cut

grey like thunderclaps and a dog hidden

under a couch

grey like wishing

like a truth cut neatly in two

like birthday party balloons

like a contradiction

grey like dust on my tongue

and like hope

grey like the lichen, yes

even grey like the lichen

and four tile grey

a dream of autumn leaves

autumns leaves

and lichen…

a dream of all the colors in grey

 UNEARTHED 

stones

and

bones and

rocks

and

stones

dear little skull

covered up with ivy

i bless it

with leaves

and dirt

and stones

baptism of bones

with stones

and the casting of stones

leads to the bones

though they are read

it is really a baptism of

stones

with bones

 stones

and bones

and dust

and time

bones

unto

stones

unto

dust

unto

bones…

time growing old in the bones

of the hills (whish happen to be stones

themselves)

look at the land

there is a surface that rises and falls

and shifts with the seasons

and below are the

bones

which have come home to the

stones

WORDS NOT SPOKEN 
these little words see too much

these little words are swift to go

these little words dont wear mittens

these little words row on row

sunflower words say hurry hurry

rainflower words say slow and slow

moonflower words are very quiet

moonflower words say yes or no

they little words in red and ivy

she little words say maybe so

he little words munch almond brittle

we little words tend that which grows

these little words so pretty pretty

these little words say yes and no

you little words may mourn my passing

i little words just maybe so

 

KINGDOM
Kingdoms 1

all around me

without boundaries or

division between

trunks and branches and leaves

just wholeness

but each wholeness unique

different in a thousand ways from

any other

I don’t want to see people again

just drinking in the wealth surrounding me

wondering if I will ever be so wise as

trees

falling into patterns

the cracks and swirls of bark

names written in the nets of branches

so far away

emblazoned on the sky

but reachable

now climbing

stickiness on my fingertips

so still now-

so still a robin lands on my head

trees

surrounding me

trees and the smell of pine

Kingdoms 2

silver trees with yellow leaves

teased by breezes

or yellow trees with sliver…?

enough and enough

too many silvers to behold

the silver trees

and silver stars

stars nestled in the grass

stars burst by the hoof of a one

antlered deer

and grey trees with lichen cloaks

there are brown trees with red branches

by the river and

dark trees with white branches

red trees with green branches

white trees with black branches

and golden leaves…

stars and stars and the

silver grasses

strewn with leaves-

yellow, red, green, brown, purple and black silver silver silver black red and green

like stars

stars in silver red

red

silver  black

and blue

WILD GIRL

Be wild

Be wild

and

shy

and

free

Be the wind

Be a fish and a hundred

thousand gallons of

sea

Be a sail and a kite without

tethers

Be breaths

Be a secret and a striped

honey bee and a parachuting dandelion

seed

Be hidden

Be a dozen dancing moons

                                                and a mirror- but not

both at once

Be loudly joyous and

solemn by turns

Be olive trees - 

                            a whole

grove of them

Be an orange hermit

                                      crab

Be a crow

Be a hail of arrows

Be lonely

Be a stone and a

shoe and a gentle

shimmering

                                     Snail

Be wood grain and

the smell of coffee

Be vanilla beans

Be wild: be a  green branch

Above all, be

                         wild

                                   WILD

                                       WILD!!!

Categories: Poetry.

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Desolation

October 2, 2010

the Wild Moor Warlock

alone upon a purple hill

with the twilight heather

alone with a mug of mugwup Tea

he can offer it to the gorse blossoms

but they shake their Tawny Heads

alone with a pocket harpsichord

and a pocket full of quietude

alone despite the heather and the gorse

and the full penny moon

alone

lonely

alone

he boards a dandelion clock

brushes the stars from his beard

and steers his filmy coracle into the blooming

skyscape

Categories: Poetry.

Tags: ,

A Slaughter of Leaves (I’m not proud of it, but it happens…)

October 2, 2010

I need to break them,

grind them,

hear them crunch beneath my feet.

Leaves,

Dry autumn leaves!

The glorious crackling

brings unwholesome satisfaction.

They’re dead hands scattered

on  the ground.

They have the tiniest,

most delicate bones;

listening to them snap beneath my feet is a truly

religious experience.

Perhaps they’re creatures

with brittle exoskeletons.

That would explain the way they scurry

on the winds,

trying to escape my hungry feet,

Sometimes it works,

and they find somewhere remote and inaccessible to hide,

but mostly their  weak carapaces succumb to my stomping.

Crunch! Crunch! Crackle! Crunch!

Breaking leaves beneath my feet!

With chitinous Snaps! and Crunches! and Crackles!

Breaking leaves beneath my feet.

Categories: Poetry.

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Medatative Poem by Hades

September 6, 2010

Pins.

A reoccurring image:

A pin balancing a brown egg,

a reflection.

Of what?

A dream wrapped up

against the cold.

An egg.

Eggs in a carton

in the refrigerator.

Pins neatly sheathed in paper.

Balancing.

Categories: Poetry.

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Habitat by Hades

July 23, 2010

By Hades

  Listening at doors is a terrible habit. But it is only one among many: reading other people’s mail, picking locks, making prank calls. I learned this at age seven. At that point, however, they were not habits, but ways of life.

  Some people are forgiving. Forgive and forget, I think that’s the phrase. I am not forgiving or forgetful. I do not lose track of past injuries. Eventually, all scores will be settled, and when this life ends, I’ll being going out square.

  That is my idea of fair play.

  Perhaps it has gotten a little out of control. I am no longer so sure every small injustice must be righted. Is this a path I should be treading? Perhaps not. I have heard that an eye for an eye would make the whole world blind.

   But that is of little or no consequence. It is the equivalent of Odysseus wondering, seven years into his long journey home, if he should not have deserted the Trojan War. It is too late for doubts.

  I have heard many wise men and women speak on the subject of revenge. Many seem to disapprove of it; others treat it with ironic amusement. I do not. Would they have acted the way I did, I do? No. I am not like them, not one for lofty quotes and high minded word-foolery.

 It is useful to reflect on beginnings. It started out very small, you see. I couldn’t have been more than three years old; scarcely able to talk. My mother was denying me a second cookie after lunch. I wouldn’t have had such a problem with that except for the fact that I saw her sneak an extra one to my elder sister. At that time, I didn’t think it may have been possible my sister got it because she was older, and had a bigger appetite. It could have been a reward for a chore. I do not know.

  I was furious. I never showed it, though. But I couldn’t let it rest. Cookie! Cookie! Cookie! Mother gave her another cookie! It wasn’t fair! There was a sudden imbalance in my universe that irked me. It was like a moustache scrawled on an otherwise perfect painting.

  And the only way scales can be righted is redistributing the weights.

  Mother was Out one afternoon, and I was supposed to be napping. I took one of her earrings and put it in Father’s wallet. That would show her what it was like to have something rightfully hers taken, and given to another!

  Of course, this revenge never came to fruition. Father found the lone earring, wondered how it had ended up in his wallet, and returned it to Mother the very next day. I was crushed, and that terrible, frustrating, impossible inequity hung there, taunting me. COOKIE! COOKIE! COOKIE! It was maddening!

   In the end, I settled that score. Sister and I were helping Mother bake more COOKIES, peanut butter chocolate chip. A family favorite. After the batter had been tasted and approved of by all, Mother went to the bathroom. I snuck a tablespoon of salt into the mix. Sister had her backed turned. I snuck another, then two more, stirred very gently, and carefully replaced the spoon and salt shaker. Mother came back. The COOKIES went in the oven. I smiled.

  Later, I complained of an upset stomach. Mother cooed and fussed, blaming it on the quantity of chocolate chips I had eaten earlier. She said she was sorry dear, but she couldn’t possibly let me have any COOKIES. I went tearfully to bed. As soon as I heard Mother’s footsteps receding down the hall, I lowered myself gingerly to the floor. The sounds of dinner commenced. Then the table was cleared. I heard Mother’s shoes clacking on the kitchen floor. COOKIES! COOKIES! COOKIES! She was bringing in the COOKIES!

  In my footie pajamas, I scampered down the hall, and peered out from around the corner. I could see them! The COOKIES were on the table! It was all I could do to stop myself dancing with delight. COOKIES! COOKIES! They were eating the COOKIES!

  Of course, I was never blamed. But I got them all! The inequity now righted, I was truly happy. Mother’s cookie faux pas: check. Father’s return of the stolen earring: repaid. Sister pulling my hair the night before: returned in full.

  And so it began.

  My rules were simple:

1) Each punishment must be equal to the crime

2) All crimes must be punished, eventually

3)  No punishment is administered in simple cases of dislike; there must be actual crime that can be punished

  I was a quiet child. Quiet children are often over-looked. I didn’t mind. I liked to be left alone. The other children weren’t exceptionally kind or cruel to me, and so I let them alone. Except for Jason Brown.

  Jason Brown was a bully. He picked on the small, weak, young, and defenseless. He apparently had decided I belonged to all four categories. Graduating to first grade meant leaving the safety of Preschool for the large, dangerous world of Primary School. During my years in preschool, there had been little need for complicated vengeances. The youngsters around me were simple-minded creatures. They played, fought, ate, tumbled about, and found sticky, disgusting things to pick up and rub on themselves. I avoided them, they me.

  Primary school was different. There were more rules, spoken and unspoken. The unspoken were, by far the most vital. And the foremost unspoken rule was never, ever to befriend a marked man.

  I was marked from day one.

  During my very first recess of first grade, Jason sought me out. He was a broad, squat boy with curly brown hair. His flat nose and squinty eyes were deep set in his fat face. Occasionally three dull children, Brandt Thomas, Mason Marks and Walter Kruger helped him, but more often than not, Jason operated alone.

  I was sitting on the teeter-totter quietly drawing in my composition book when I heard a thick, unfriendly voice grunt, hey kid. I looked up, knowing this could not bode well. There stood Jason, grinning a wicked grin. He wore his ball cap sideways. I shuddered inwardly. This kid was obviously trouble.

  Kid, he said. I’m talking to you. I said nothing. What reply did he expect? You’re alone, kid. Why are you alone? Doncha have any friends. I shrugged. You’re a weirdy, that’s why you’re alone. You’re a weirdy, and nobody likes weirdies. Are you a weirdy, kid? Hesitantly, I shook my head. Are you saying I’m lying? Are you saying you’re not a weirdy? I shook my head again. How can you be a weirdy and not a weirdy at the same time? I’ll ask you again, kid. Are you a weirdy?

  I couldn’t agree or disagree without getting an inevitable pounding. What’s that kid? His ugly face was right up close to mine. I could see he hadn’t yet figured out what tissues were for. He smelled like tuna sandwich. I couldn’t here you. Say something, kid.

  I stood up and walked swiftly away. I heard the heavy plod of Jason’s feet, and speed up, not quite running. I spent the rest of recess playing hopscotch. The hopscotch kids hadn’t seen my confrontation with Jason, so they didn’t shun me as a social leper.

  In class, Jason tripped me as I walked down the aisle. He swiped a slice of apple off my plate at snack, and “accidentally” jogged my elbow and made me wreck an almost finished picture. That was three things. Would I do three small punishments or one large one? The small ones often hurt more, so I decided on that.

  The next day, I came to school with some extra material in my lunch pail. I got on the bus and sat in the front, near the driver. I went to class. At lunch time, I hid under a beanbag chair and didn’t go to the cafeteria. The teacher had twenty busy six-year olds on her hands: she didn’t notice. I don’t blame her. As soon as the door swung shut, I forsook my hiding place and crept across the darkened classroom to Jason’s desk.

  I went to work.

  Jason lumbered through the door, earlier than the rest of the class. I could almost see the cogs turning in his cunning, if dull, mind. He was wondering where his victim, that weird kid, had gone. He was a stupid boy, so the idea that I was planning a trap never occurred to him.

  He fell, landing on hands and knees, and cracking his elbow on the leg of a desk. I had counted on Jason arriving first; he was not the sort of boy to allow others to line up in front of him. Stretching across the aisle, loosely attached with masking tape, was a piece of fishing line. The floor was slightly slippery with soap. Jason scratched his head, wondering what had happened.

  The rest of the class arrived, and I wriggled out from my hiding place and joined them. A few of them giggled at Jason who was still sitting on the floor looking dazed. No doubt wondering what just happened.

  Jason slunk shame-facedly to his seat, rubbing his elbow. The teacher read a story about a family of rabbits going for a picnic. Jason got bored and started flicking bits of eraser at the wall. I, on the other hand, was the model of attentiveness.

  We wrote in our composition books. We did a messy, gluey craft. We did a subtraction worksheet.

  Snack time.

  The teacher was an orderly woman. Each student had a cup and plate, lovingly labeled in colorful marker. She set out snack at the beginning of the day. It was kept on a table at the back of the room. Today, we had grape juice, and crackers with peanut butter. Jason took a sip of his juice and coughed. It spewed all over his desk. The class laughed. Jason scowled. I kindly fetched some paper towels from the bathroom. Grape juice tended to be somewhat less delicious when spiked with “Grape Flavored” cold medicine. Oh well. At least it’s good for you.

  At the end of the day, we always had “Choice Time.” Jason and his cronies, Brandt, Mason, and Walter, sat at the back table drawing rude pictures. Or, at least trying to. The trouble was, each pencil was capped with a small blob of clear glue. Watching them press harder and harder until paper ripped and pencils broke was a heavenly experience.

  Jason soon realized it did not pay to mess with me. He was not a clever boy, but he soon reached a vague conclusion: bullying me meant future misfortune. By second grade, I was once again, just a random kid. Albeit, one safe from bullies.

  My grades were good, but not outstanding. I was quiet, but had a few friendly acquaintances. I dressed plainly, looked ordinary, and seemed average in every way throughout school. Those that harassed me never figured out how I was involved in their accidents, but were, none the less, convinced I was guilty. And, of course, I was.

  I graduated elementary school, middle school, and then, high school. I had an unremarkable college career marred by only three…regrettable incidents. A bullying professor retired at the end of my second year, complaining of constant illness and discomfort as his age. Food poisoning? Perhaps. A lazy boy that cheated off my paper was arrested for drunk driving. Who turned him in? I wonder. A landlord who ignored my please for a working refrigerator found his apartment broken into and some money stolen. The amount to buy a new refrigerator? Who knows?

  I graduated college with grades that were, as per usual, good, but not incredible. I was hired as an accountant. I worked, got money, bought a small house. I married, had children. I retired.

  But all that while, my inclination, nay my need for justice drove me. Justice, revenge, are they not one? All that divides them is a gavel and robe. One acts from behind a pulpit, the other from behind an ordinary face, and ordinary life, and an extraordinary mind.

“Revenge is an act of passion; vengeance of justice. Injuries are revenged; crimes are avenged.”

-Samuel Johnson

Categories: Short Stories.

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The Immortal Ralph Sty by Hades

July 14, 2010

  Ralph shuffled around his small kitchen in a pair of worn-out carpet slippers. It was past midnight according to the clock above the mantel, but Ralph wasn’t tired. He set about fixing himself a pot of tea and sat down in an armchair in front of the television to wait.

“In other news, Sen. P. Anderson of Texas died at Sacred Heart Hospital of pancreatic cancer.” The news caster looked blandly upset. Ralph snorted. Another one down. People died all the time, every day. Senators, garbage collectors, movie stars, clerks. And there was nothing anyone could do about it. Or so most thought.

  He flipped the channel to something about a celebrity divorce case. The kettle shrieked shrilly. Ralph rose and limped back to the kitchenette, cursing his bad leg. His eyes wandered, as they so often did these days, to the framed photographs on the shelf above the sink. All six were carefully arranged, their frames and glasses wiped daily with a cloth.

  The first was of him, an old picture in black and white. If you looked closely, Ralph liked to think that one could still see that strong, handsome face show in the photo beneath his wrinkles and liver spots. He was in his navy uniform, his arm around the waste of a pretty dark haired girl. They were both laughing. The next showed him, looking older and thinner than before, but radiantly happy. He wore a suit and tie, the girl, now a woman, was in a white dress and train.

  The third, a color photograph, showed her looking tired but proud in a hospital bed, a small bundle in her arms. There was another of a dark-haired boy, about six years old, on a small, three-wheeler. He had her eyes, Ralph thought wistfully.  Then, there was the same boy, in a cap and gown.

  The final picture was of Ralph and the woman, both grey-haired, at a parade. Ralph wore his old uniform. He remembered that parade. Pam had been insistent that he marched in it. Afterward, they went for ice cream at the tiny parlor they visited as teenagers. That was twenty-five years ago.

  He poured his tea into a slightly-chipped china cup, stirred in a packet of sugar and opened the fridge. Damn. Out of cream again.

  He settled into his chair, the cup warm between his arthritic hands. A report came on about a hurricane in some country he had never heard of. Ralph flipped through the channels, stopping at an old movie he and Pam once saw together in the theatres. Movies were still in black and white then, and you could see one for a dime. None of this business where you emptied your wallet for popcorn and a show.

  The lead was smoking a cigar, and talking to a glamorous actress. She had been very popular in her time, considered a great beauty with her hooded eyes, husky voice, and full figure. Nothing like the twig-women on screen nowadays.

  Ralph woke to blinding sunlight streaming through the window. He had forgotten, once again, to draw the curtains. Damn.

  Grumbling, Ralph rose, fixed himself some eggs and coffee. He ate, washed the dishes, and lovingly polished his photographs. The morning newspaper had been delivered to his flat already. Skimming the first few headlines, he flipped to the obituaries.

“Ha! Eddy Cole! Always told ‘im I’d out live ‘im. And Florence Storm. Stupid woman. Oh, and there’s old Harry. Ticker gave out at last. Too bad about that. Don’t know the rest of ‘em.” Carefully, Ralph clipped the obituaries out and shuffled over to an old-fashioned cabinet. He pulled out a black leather scrap book with the embossed title “Friends,” and filed the clippings and filled in day’s date.

“I’ve outlived ‘em all.” Ralph smiled to himself, turning the book’s heavy pages. There were few pages without an obituary or two. “All! Nobody’s gonna outlive Ralph Sty!” he paused on a well-thumbed page: June 21. There was a single clipping: Justin Sty, born December 3rd, 1959, died June 21st, 1978.  Justin was the son of Ralph and Pamela Sty. He was a model student, and gifted athlete. However, his true passion was for playing chess. He participated in numerous regional and state championships, and, at age thirteen, qualified for nationals. He went on to Stanford University, hoping for a career in teaching high level mathematics. He was on the chess team, and wrote for the school paper. His future was looking brighter than ever when he became engaged to long-time girlfriend, Sophia Plum.  Tragically, he died in a car accident on highway 132 while driving home to begin preparations for his wedding. He is survived by his parents and fiancée. Justin will be greatly missed in the community. Services will be held at the Friendly Street Catholic Church on Saturday.

  Ralph wiped his nose on his sleeve and hurriedly turned the page. He stopped again to read the third obituary on a page marked January 5.  

  Pamela Sty, born April 12th 1919, died January 5th, 2001. Pamela Sty, born Pamela Dove, passed away at Memorial Hospital in the early hours of the morning. Pam, as she was known to friends lived a long, full life. Born at Memorial Hospital, she was the eldest of three sisters. She graduated Nightingale Nursing Academy, and served as a nurse during the Second World War. At age nineteen, she met marine Ralph Sty. They were married 1945, days after Germany surrendered to the Allied forces.  In 1960, the Stys adopted a child, an infant boy named Justin. Pam and Ralph were devastated when he died in a car accident in 1978, at age 19. This refueled Pam’s wish to help save lives, and she started working as a nurse at Memorial Hospital. She retired in 12981 at age 62. However, Pam remained active in the community through her church. She did charity work, and much volunteering. In her spare moments, she enjoyed reading mystery novels, gardening, and playing chess with her husband. She passed away after a long struggle with lung cancer. Pam is survived by her husband Ralph, and two sisters, Lucy and Mina. Services will be held Friday at the Friendly Street Catholic Church.

  Ralph slammed the book shut. “No! No! No! They’re all gone! And you can bet that Ralph Sty isn’t going to be next!”

  In many ways, Ralph reflected, he was like other men. Death he feared above all else. He had seen too much of it, perhaps. The war, his parents, his son, and then Pam. He longed for comfort; the comfort of knowing he was safe from the void. He longed for those he loved, and for a quiet, pleasant existence. But in one very important way, he was different.

  Ralph went into his flat’s tiny bathroom to summon Death. He looked into the mirror and said, ‘Hello? Are you there?”

“Yes.” Lord Death looked back at him. His face was more than skull-like; there was not a scrap of flesh left on it. He wore a crown of yellowed bones, and a robe the color of thunderclouds. His eyes were nothing more than sightless holes.

“Don’t we even get a ‘Nice to see you’? Mortals are so impolite, aren’t they Dee? Oh! It’s you! Dee, it’s that Ralph character, again. Ralph, you interrupted our show. We were watching reruns of that very interesting plague in Europe, weren’t we Dee?” Lady Death scowled at Ralph. Half her body was that of a beautiful woman with milky skin and raven hair, the other that of a decaying corpse. She wore a black velvet dress, and an obsidian tiara.

“Yes dear.” Death didn’t seem to be listening. “Ralph. How unexpected. You’re scheduled for next month. Do you want to come early?”

  Ralph shook his head vigorously. “Mr. D, I was hoping to…um…ask a small favor.”

  Mrs. Death held up her shriveled hand. “You know the rules.”

“Yes, but-“

“-not buts!”

“Please!” Ralph looked beseechingly at Death. “Please, we’re friends! I’ve known you for years!”

“All men know me from birth.”

“Yes, but-“

“-no buts!” Mrs. Death reiterated.   

“But I talk to you. Who else does that?”

“More people than you would expect.”

“Please! Give me a chance! Mr. D, there’s got to be some way!”

  Death sighed. “Alright, alright. There is one way. But you can’t go around telling everyone; otherwise they’ll start thinking I’ve gone soft.”

  Ralph looked ten years younger. “I promise I won’t tell a soul.” Death chuckled mirthlessly. “What do I need to do?”

“Certain people throughout history have been able to…contact me, in a fashion similar to you. Many have asked for favors of the type you are about to ask.”

“How do you-“

“-Mortals are incredibly predictable. They all want to live forever, and have their loved ones back. Of course I can’t just give everyone eternal life, and let their friends out of the Dead Land. So the deal is, you can challenge me to whatever you want. If you win, I grant your wish.”

“And if I lose?”

“You die.”

“Has anybody won?”

“Nope.”

“Well then.”

  There was an awkward pause.

“Let’s get on with it, then. I don’t want to miss the best bit of the plague!” Lady Death scowled at Ralph.

“Yes, yes. Right away dear.” Death clicked his fingers and Ralph felt himself being dragged forward. The glass of the mirror parted like water, and Ralph was falling, falling, falling…

“You can open your eyes.” Ralph was sitting in a squishy old armchair. He was in a sitting room, of sorts. There was a television showing a scene of people in tunics writhing and retching. Tarnished silver frames held photographs of famous cemeteries, and shots of the Deaths in Disneyland. Little tourist-y nick-knacks littered the shelves. There were vases of dried flowers, magazines, and an old copy of Dante’s Inferno, on the coffee table, and at least a dozen black cats seated on a large, brown couch.

“Nice place.” Ralph gave Lady Death a weak smile that she did not return.

“Now, what do you want to challenge me to?” Death was reclining in a leather chair. On the table beside him were a very new laptop and a drink.

“Get a coaster for that!” Lady Death snapped. “I don’t want stains on the tables! We got that one in Italy!”

“So sorry dear. Now, to business.”

 Ralph wiped his forehead with a large, dirty handkerchief. He was not feeling at all confident. He wiped his forehead again. It had seemed like a much better idea back in his bathroom.

“Any game, sport, or puzzle will do. Board games, card games, dice games, ball games, races, riddles, jokes, dance-offs, karaoke tournaments; anything you want.”

  Ralph could feel a bead of sweat gliding down the length of his nose.

“Wipe-out bug-house chess.”

“What?”

“Wipe-out bug-house chess.”

   Death was not used to being confused. Exactly 1,632,578 people had challenged him since life, and death, had begun. He had played everything from spear throwing with cavemen to Senet in ancient Egypt; ullamaliztli with the Aztecs to chariot racing with Romans, not to mention a host of others. This was an unwelcome set-back.

“What is this game you wish to play?”

  Ralph nervously explained the rules, hoping against hope that Death wouldn’t spot what he thought he might spot. He didn’t.

“And all you have to do is capture all your opponent’s pieces?”

“Yes.”

“This game needs four players?”

“Yes. My son can play on your team, my wife on mine.”

“But how do I know they won’t cheat? They are only souls, after all.”

“They won’t. I promise.”

  Death looked skeptical, but he agreed. He blew on a small silver whistle on a chain around his neck. Like two absurd flowers, Pam and Justin blossomed from the ugly tan carpet. Ralph released a tiny gasp. They looked exactly as they had in life: Pam was even wearing her favorite pearl earrings, and wedding band.

Dad! Justin’s voice was faint, but joyful. You’re here! But you aren’t…

“No, Justin, I’m not dead. How have you been, son? What’s it like being…um…deceased?”

Not bad. They’ve got loads of things to do here, and there are so many interesting people…

“That’s great.” He replied, but he was looking at Pam. She smiled that slow, gentle smile of hers.

Ralph, you’re early.

“I know, dear.”

“Can we get on with it? I don’t want to miss the evening rerun of the Crusades!” Lady Death held a TV remote in her living hand and a martini in her dead one. She seemed completely unfazed by the scene before her.

  Death rose from his seat and clicked his fingers. Two chess boards appeared on the crowded coffee table, sending a stack of magazines flying. The cats on the sofa languidly rose and stalked away. Death sat on the recently occupied couch, Pam perched uncomfortably next to him. Ralph faced Death, a board between them. Justin was across from Pam.

  Ralph gingerly nudged a white pawn forward two spaces. Death fingered a black one, and mirrored his moved. Soon, Death had captured six of Ralph’s players, and Ralph had taken only two of his. Pam passed Ralph a rook, two pawns and a knight she had captured from Justin. She winked at him. Ralph gave her a small smile.

  Seconds stretched into hours, hours into days, and, perhaps, days into weeks. Ralph couldn’t tell. Lady Death complained the match was getting too long. You don’t know how long it’s going to be, Ralph thought grimly. Then he smiled.

  If you looked into Death’s drawing room today, you would find a peculiar scene: A robbed skull and a slightly faded-looking elderly woman sitting side-by-side on a couch with a man and a pale boy opposite them. They are playing a version of chess. Each time one player takes their opponent’s piece, the pass it to their teammate. The piece is then placed on the board. The game may go, briefly, one way or another, but in the end, it doesn’t change much. The man looks very happy. This is a quiet life, one he had always wanted. Death is absorbed in the game, so absorbed he doesn’t notice eternities have gone by.  Occasionally, a very strange-looking woman enters. She appears to be half corpse, has living person. She inquires, loudly and rudely, whether or not the game is over.

  It isn’t. It never will be.

When I was still a rather precocious young man, I already realized most vividly the futility of the hopes and aspirations that most men pursue throughout their lives.”-Albert Einstein

Designed by Tim Sainburg from Brambling Design

Categories: Short Stories.

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