Rune, the novel Chapter Eleven

June 28, 2011

Days passed, in which
Taren, Wheatweeve, Casey, and I all roamed further and further from Intisa. The
August air was dry, and bitingly hot. We ripped the sleeves of our garments in
order to keep from cooking inside our clothes. Casey grew increasingly bad
tempered, grumbling that it was too hot, that we ought to try to head to
another settlement, and that we were getting nowhere. I told him, equally
angry, that we had no clue how to get to any of the other settlements, and to
stop being such a whiner. Before I could lose my temper and punch every inch of
his body black and blue, Taren did.

“YOU COMPLETE *Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!
WE ARE LUCKY TO BE ALIVE, THANKS TO SILAS, AND YOU STAND HERE
COMPLAINING ABOUT THE WHEATHER?!? YOU
HAVE BEEN OF ABSOLUTELY NO HELP
WHATSOEVER! JERK!!! BLGAHGOIVWJFYUUIHUHFUCKIGYIGYIHGHOIHV…

*Reader- Note that I
have made some words unintelligible. This is because I don’t want to print
these foul (and often unintelligible) terms.

At this point,
Taren’s screams became completely incoherent, and she began punching every
single inch of Casey’s body. To my surprise, I found myself subduing her. “We have to stick together,” I whispered
to her as I dragged her away from Casey, who was now bleeding at both the lip
and the nose, “I know Casey’s an annoying
little shit, but he’s
part of our group.”

Taren nodded, still
glaring ferociously at Casey. I was also surprised to find that this
altercation didn’t make me happy that Taren didn’t like Casey anymore. The
latter was sitting on the dry grass, bleeding and sniffling.  I once again shocked myself by sitting down
beside him.

“Look Casey,” I said,
putting my arm uncertainly on his shoulder. He shrugged it off, “I know that we
don’t seem to be getting anywhere. But, look at us! We’re still alive! And
we’ve been out here for days! That’s certainly a feat that few have
accomplished!”

My words seemed to
cheer Casey, for he stopped crying and gave me a watery smile. I was just in
the act of returning the grin when Wheatweeve exclaimed, “Silas!”

I leapt up, grabbing
my sword as I went. I turned around to find that Wheatweeve and Taren were
standing, swords drawn, looking in fear at a group of twelve very grubby, very
dangerous looking men that had surrounded our camp. Bandits. These were people who had been exiled for murder, torture,
and other brutal crimes. I knew this because they had D, a tattoo given to dangerous criminals, tattooed on their biceps
and because they were carrying some very nasty looking knives and swords.

“Well, well, well,”
said the bandit furthest to the right. I took him to be the leader. “What have
we here? Poor, lost, little children by the looks of it. Ah, and I see that you
have some nasty swords. Nasty little children, then.”

The man was garbed in
a dark brown coat that reached his calves. He wore several rings on his
spider-like fingers, and had stubble that covered much of his chin and cheeks.
His hair was long and blonde, but dirty. And his cold, grey eyes sparkled with
cruel amusement. This man is going to
kill us
, I thought, and nothing we do
is going to change that
.

“So children,” the
man said, chuckling, “May I ask who the leader of this bold group of adventurers
is?”

My companions all
looked at me, so I said, as bravely as I could muster, “I am. And may I ask who
you are?”

At this point, the
entire group of bandits roared with laughter. “Kid,” said the leader, “You are
asking who I am? You’re in no
position to-NO!”

For Casey had roared
angrily at their laughter and swung his sword. It slashed cleanly through the
skin of one of the bandits’ stomachs. He crumpled to the ground, moaning as a
dark stain appeared on his dirty, green shirt. We didn’t wait for his group’s
reaction. We bolted through the opening Casey had created. I grabbed Casey’s
shirt and dragged him with me, because he was staring in horror at what he had
done. Wheatweeve and Taren had grabbed the packs, but they had to carry two
each, and they were slowing down. I sped up, Casey now running along with me,
and grabbed a pack from Wheatweeve. Casey snatched a pack from Taren, and we
sped up as a group. The bandits were hot in pursuit, and they were gaining. The
packs were still slowing us down.

“DROP THE PACKS!” I
screamed to my companions.

“ARE YOU CRAZY? THESE
HAVE ALL OUR FOOD IN THEM!!!” Wheatweeve yelled back.

“WE’LL BE PLANT
FOOD IF WE DON’T, WHEATWEEVE!” Taren told my sister, tossing her pack behind
her. It hit the bandit in the front, and he toppled backwards.

Wheatweeve chucked
her bag behind her as well, grinning as she heard a satisfying “AAARGH!” from
behind us.

Then there was
nothing. No ground beneath us. In our haste to escape the bandits, we had run
off a cliff. Genius, I thought
sarcastically to myself, pure god damn
genius.
Then, we slammed into the densely packed foliage of the top of the
Greenblade forest.

You see, in less than
three weeks, we traveled a little under 100 miles. That is slow! We must have
been walking less than a ¼ mile every day! What were we, turtles? Of course, it
wasn’t like we were trying to go anywhere. Our main plan involved staying
alive.

Right. Back to the
story I’m supposed to be telling, in which we had just slammed into the
Greenblade forest.

I fell through
several branches, bruising myself up a bit on my way down, but landing fairly
gently on the ground, which was preferable to the alternative of being
splattered all the way up a tree.

I looked around. It
seemed like all of my friends were okay, so I dared to turn my eyes to the top
of the cliff. All of the bandits, except for their leader, were looking at the
place where we had fallen. The leader was looking right into my eyes and,
even-though there were trees obscuring me from his view. I could swear he saw
me. Apparently, he had, because he mouthed, I’m
going to kill you
plain as day.

Categories: Fantasy Fiction, Fiction, Inspirational Fiction, Must Reads.

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Honors Project Part VIII by Hades

June 23, 2011

1800s-1810s

In which the Napoleonic Wars stop, the Napoleonic Wars start, the U.S. gets some land, and American Can’t Take It Anymore.

In 1802, Britain signed the Treaty of Amiens. Napoleon Bonaparte celebrated the end of the war by appointing himself consul for life. He worked to rebuild France, establishing a National Bank and reforming the taxation system.

Bonaparte planned to increase French presence in the Switzerland, the Netherlands, Italy and the Americas. He also wanted to establish sugar plantations in the Louisiana Territory which Spain had ceded to France. In addition, Bonaparte was working to restrict British trade.

These actions drove Britain to declare war on France again in 1803. Bonaparte’s plans to conquer Europe required more supplies, men, and weaponry that previously estimated, so he was unable to precede with the sugar plantations. France sold the entire Louisiana Territory for only fifteen million dollars.

The Louisiana Purchase essentially doubled the area of the United States. Many Americans supported the purchase because it allowed for more westward expansion. Federalists
questioned the constitutionality of buying the land and granting citizenship to the approximately fifty thousand residents. Many of these residents were African Americans, Native Americans, and poor whites. The Federalists worried that they would be drawn the relatively egalitarian Republican party (shortened from Democratic-Republican Party).

Jefferson sent his personal secretary Meriwether Lewis, and a veteran army officer William Clark to jointly head an expedition to explore and map the Louisiana Territory. With the help of their guides, French trapper Toussaint Charbonneau and his Shoshone wife Sacajawea, they reached the Pacific Ocean.  They returned to the east in 1806.

A second outbreak of the Napoleonic Wars affected more than just the Louisiana Purchase. Both French and British warships attacked U.S. merchant vessels. The American navy couldn’t compete with the Europeans. Britain conscripted many captured American sailors into the Royal Navy.

Jefferson ordered all British ships to leave United States waters because of an attack on an American a ship in 1807. They ignored this demand and continued stopping and
searching boats. Jefferson encouraged Congress to pass the Embargo Act of 1807. It halted all exportation of U.S. goods.  The president reasoned that Britain and France relied on US imports, so they would be forced to cooperate with his requests.

Unfortunately, Europe had access to similar products from South America. In the end, he only hurt American merchants. He repealed the embargo during his final days in office. Congress replaced it with the Non-Intercourse Act. Under it, exportation resumed. American traded with all countries except for France and Britain.

Despite the unpopularity of Jefferson’s embargo, Republican James Madison managed to be elected. To revive the economy, his administration passed Macon’s Bill (No. 2) which eliminated the trading restrictions of the Non-Intercourse Act. However, if either France or Britiain tried to punish America for trading wityh the other, the embargo would be reinstated against that country.

Napoleon Bonaparte agreed to the terms of Macon’s Bill, but Britain did not. Madison realized that lifting the embargo could be seen as an end to American
neutrality in the Napoleonic Wars. Relations with England deteriorated further in 1811 when a group of Americans in the Indiana Territory had a violent conflict with the hostile Shawnee tribe. The remaining Shawnee joined the British.

In 1812, Madison asked Congress to declare war on Britain. He felt that war was the only way to defend America and assert its legitimacy. Unbeknownst to Madison, Britain’s economy was suffering from the Napoleonic Wars as well as France’s control of trade. Parliament repealed the laws that prevented Americans trading in Britain. Unfortunately, this occurred five days after America declared war.

Initially, the British army was able to dominate the Americans. They were more organized and experienced. However, as the war progressed, America learned from their mistakes. In 1813, Captain Oliver Hazard Perry managed to defeat British forces controlling Lake Erie in a naval battle. Later, many Native Americans abandoned their English allies after the death of Chief Tecumseh.

However, the war was far from over. In 1814, British troops torched Washington D.C. The White House was destroyed. They marched south and attacked Fort McHenry and were
repelled. The British and Americans seemed evenly matched.

Negotiations for a peace settlement began. The British were confident that they would emerge victorious from the war. They demanded the US return the Northwest Territory to
Native Americans, and relinquish control of the Great Lakes and parts of Maine. During the negotiations, news of a decisive American victory in New Orleans arrived.

Because of this information, the British modified their plans. On Christmas Eve, 1814, the Treaty of Ghent was signed. Under the treaty, both sides would cease fighting, and all conquered territory would be returned to its original owner (no, not the Native Americans).  Although the issues weren’t directly addressed in the peace talks, trade reopened between the two countries, and British warships withdrew from American waters.

Categories: Must Reads, Nonfiction.

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Honors Project Part VII by Hades

June 23, 2011

1780s-1800s

In which France has a Revolution, the Revolution goes sour, there are Troubles with Politics, John Adams violates the Constitution, and the political parties Transition.

Congress passed a tariff on imports in 1789. That same year, the Estas-General of France was called on By King Louis XVI to vote on tax raise. The Third Estas, which was composed of commoners set up a rival legislature called the National Assembly. Due to France’s support of the American Revolution, the government went bankrupt, inflation rose, and food shortages occurred. People demanded reform, but Louis did not listen to their requests.

The American Revolution had been popular in France. Ideals of liberty and equality resonated with the commoners. Like the American rebels, they were also inspired by Enlightenment values.

Many commoners supported the National Assembly. When it was rumored that the government was going to employ military force to destroy the Assembly, a mob stormed the Fortress of the Bastille. Between July twenty and August six, 1789, armed peasants roamed the country, destroying aristocratic property and killing many nobles. This was known as the Great Fear.

The National Assembly penned the Rights of Man, a document based on the United States Constitution and Bill of Rights. The Rights of Man abolished serfdom, confiscated church property, and removed hereditary titles. King Louis and his wife, Marie Antoinette were captured trying to flee France with their children. The pair was executed alongside many aristocrats.

Exiled nobles convinced Prussia and Austria to invade France. The new People’s Revolution Army of France managed to repell the attacks. Other European monarchs worried that the French Revolution would spark rebellions in their own countries.

Royalists in southern and western France revolted. The rebellions were repressed. After dealing with these initial crises, the revolutionaries schismed. About twenty thousand people, mostly commoners, were either executed or killed in civil wars. This period of unrest lasted from 1793 until 1794.

Britain, Spain, the Netherlands, Austria, and Prussia joined forces against France. They attacked in 1792. Despite their social and political chaos, the French were able to defend themselves. They went on the offensive, winning numerous victories between 1794 and 1795.

America was bound to aid France under the alliance they made in 1778. Democratic-Republicans (a party that was comprised mostly of Thomas Jefferson’s supporters) thought that the U.S. was bound to aid their allies. They felt indebted because France had helped America win their independence from Britain.

On the other hand, Federalists (Hamilton’s supporters) felt they owed them moral support only. They wanted to maintain a peaceful trade relationship with Britain. Britain was at war with France, so supporting the French would be economically unwise. President Washington issued the Neutrality Proclamation of 1793, declaring America neutral in regards to the war between Britain and France.

Britain ignored the Proclamation. They assumed that America supported the French and started attacking American ships. Federalists still wished to avert war.

Washington sent Chief Justice Jay to London in 1794. He was to negotiate a treaty with Britain. Democratic-Republicans were outraged. They felt that they now had good cause to fight Britain. However, Jay was attempting to preserve the peace.

Hamilton shared U.S. negotiation tactics with the British to sabotage Jay’s plans. He worried that Jay would cause war and economic disaster. Unsurprisingly, the negotiations were highly ineffective. The resulting treaty giving the British eighteen months to withdraw the last of their troops from American soil, allowed them to continue trading with Native Americans, and called for the United States to repay debts to England that they had incurred during the Revolutionary War.

The negotiations had one positive effect. Spain worried that America and Britain would become allies, so they worked to improve their relations with the U.S. They granted America regions of northern Florida and allowed merchants to use the Mississippi River to transport goods under Pickney’s Treaty of 1795.

In 1796, John Adams was elected president. His administration immediately faced challenges. The French felt that America’s actions violated the Franco-American Treaty of 1778. They began raiding American ships. Adams sent officials to negotiate with the French Foreign Minister. Instead, three French agents the Americans labeled “X,” “Y,” and “Z” communicated their requests to the minister.

In order to even speak to him, the agents demanded a $250,000 bribe, and a $12 million loan. Although bribes were commonplace at the time, the price was much too steep. This disrespectful treatment caused some Democratic-Republicans to turn against the French. Some people even wanted to declare war on France.

Although it would have made him more popular, Adams resisted Federalist demands. He did not declare war on France. Instead, he increased U.S. defenses and authorized privateers to attack French ships.

In 1799, the French Foreign Minister agreed to negotiate with the Americans. However, by the time the envoy reached France, Napoleon Bonaparte had become the military dictator of the country. Bonaparte wished to sever ties with the United States. France and America signed the Convention of 1800, annulling the Treaty of 1778.

The trouble with France caused political turmoil in America. Federalists controlled Congress in 1798. They passed a number of laws that appeared to make America safer but actually attempted to silence the opposition. The Alien and Sedition Acts were comprised of four laws. The laws served to punish newspapers that expressed negative views about the government, and attempted to stop immigrants from voting. Many immigrants supported the Democratic-Republicans.

The Alien and Sedition Acts backfired. They were seen as an abuse of power. Many labeled them unconstitutional. Jefferson and the Democratic-Republicans gained support.

In 1800, Jefferson ran against Adams (Federalist), Charles Pickney (Federalist), and Aaron Burr (Democratic-Republican). The campaign got dirty very fast. The Democratic-Republicans called the Federalists power hungry bureaucrats, while the Federalists accused the Democratic-Republicans of being godless extremists who wanted to turn the United States into a post-revolution France.

The election finished in a tie between Jefferson and Burr. The vote went to the Federalist-controlled House of Representatives. The election stretched into 1801. Hamilton despised Burr, so he convinced his fellow Federalists to support Jefferson.

To prevent future standoffs, the Twelfth Amendment was passed. It required a separate ballot in the Electoral College for President and Vice President. The amendment was ratified in 1804.

Categories: Must Reads, Nonfiction.

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Honors Project Part VI by Hades

June 23, 2011

1770s-1780s Part II

In which the blosoming America experiences Financial Troubles, we learn about the Problem with Printing Too Much Cash, the Articles of Confederation Fail, and Political Parties rear their Ugly Heads.

Without British restrictions, America could trade internationally. They initiated a trade relationship with Asia, trafficking fur, cotton, and ginseng (a spice) for silk, tea, and other luxuries. In addition, they could trade with Europe.

Britain would not let America trade with their settlements in the West Indies. Previously, most America wheat, fish, and lumber had been exported to those colonies. Once again, smuggling was on the rise.

However, Britain continued trading with their former colonies. They shipped cheap manufactured products to the United States. Because they had been unavailable during the revolution, there was high demand for them. The sudden influx of inexpensive British goods damaged the economy. Although many people wanted to place tariffs on imports, Congress could not levy taxes. The states were unable to agree on a uniform duty.

In 1784, Spain closed the Mississippi River to America trade, further damaging the economy. The Mississippi was especially important to small Southern farmers. They lacked an alternative way for their goods to reach international markets. Later, Spain reopened to Mississippi, but forced American merchants to pay a tariff.

America’s allies were not very helpful either. France wanted the U.S. to pay back their debts from the Revolutionary War. The financial situation was so bleak that America couldn’t comply. The French restricted American trade to punish them for their tardy payments.

Between 1785 and 1786, about half the states started printing more paper money. Most of it was loaned to farmers or given to veterans as compensation. The money depreciated,
leading to inflation. Rhode Island experienced the worst effects because they printed the most currency.

The economy was very unstable during the 1770s, 80s, and 90s. As a result of trade restrictions, decline in American manufacturing, states taxing imports from other states, and excessive printing of paper currency, the economy went into a recession. Congress had no ability to improve the situation by implementing taxes.

To generate money, Congress decided to sell the largely uninhabited western territory. The “Old Northwest” consisted of the land north of the Ohio River, east of the Mississippi, and south of the Great Lakes. The Land Ordinance of 1785 was passed by Congress. It divided the Old Northwest into townships, and divided further into lots. Reflecting public interest in education, every sixteen lots required a school. The lots were marked by lines cut directly into the ground. Most of the land was bought by development companies.

The Northwest Ordinance of 1787 was passed to organize the admittance of new states to the Union. Once the adult male population reached five thousand, the territories would be governed by three judges appointed by Congress. Once it reached sixty thousand, the territory would achieve statehood. Eventually the Old Northwest developed into Ohio, Illinois, Indiana, Michigan, and Wisconsin. Slavery was illegal in all of these states.

Because the methods of the land ordinances were so effective, they became a model for American public land policy. The sale of the Old Northwest generated revenue for Congress. However, economic difficulties persisted throughout the 1780s.

The western counties of Massachusetts revolted when their state legislature would not reduce the high taxes on farmers. Daniel Shays, a veteran of the Revolutionary War, led about 1,200 farmers to the federal arsenal in Springfield, Massachusetts. Shay and his followers demanded more flexible financial policies, suspension property confiscation, and a postponement of taxes until the depression ended. The military suppressed Shay’s rebellion. Shay was condemned to death, but was pardoned before he could be executed.

Shay’s rebellion motivated Congress to reform the Articles of Confederation. In 1787, a Constitutional Convention was held in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. The major issue they faced was that Congress could not make courts or taxes, regulate commerce, or enforce laws.  They decided to write an entirely new constitution.

Although many options were proposed, the Connecticut Compromise was adopted to organize government structure. It established a bicameral legislature consisting of the House of Representative which would have delegates from each state based on population, and the Senate which would have two delegates from every state regardless of population. Bills would be voted on first by the House. If they passed, they would proceed to the Senate.

Congress could not place taxes on exports. This was on the insistence of the Southern States who relied on European markets. However, Congress could place tariffs on imports. The North supported high tariffs on European manufactured goods because they were largely involved in manufacturing.

The Executive Branch would be headed by the President. The President would be able to appoint officials, and veto legislation. In addition He (and later he or she) would also be Commander in Chief of the United States military.

Because slaves lacked basic rights as citizens, Congress was not sure whether they should be counted as people in censuses. The South wanted slaves to count because it would increase their population, and, by extension, their representation in Congress. In the end, the delegates settled on the Three Fifths Compromise which counted each slave as three fifths of a person.

The constitution was submitted for ratification in 1787. Public opinion on the document fell into two general categories: Federalist and Antifederalist. The Federalists wanted a powerful, centralized government that would protect and improve the economy. Antifederalists were loyal to their state governments. They supported a Bill of Rights to protect personal freedoms, and worried that the government would abuse their right to tax the states.

Alexander Hamilton, James Madison, and John Jay wrote essays collectively known as the Federalist Papers to try to address the concerns of Antifederalists. The Federalist Papers helped gain the necessary support for the Constitution. It was ratified in 1788, and the Continental Congress was disbanded.

George Washington, previous commander of the Patriot army, was elected president. John Adams had the second most votes, so he became Washington’s Vice President. Under Washington, Congress established the Supreme Court as well as circuit and district courts. John Jay, one of the authors of the Federalist Papers, was appointed Chief Justice.

Due to popular demand, James Madison drafted the Bill of Rights. It initially consisted of more amendments, but the states only approved ten. It went into effect in 1791.

Secretary of the Treasury Alexander Hamilton developed as economic structure which would inspire confidence in the government. All state debts from the revolution would be assumed by the federal government, the nation’s capitol would be moved south (to present day Washington D.C.) to reward the Southern States for paying off most of their debts, and a national bank would be established. Secretary of State Thomas Jefferson opposed this plan because he believed in a strict interpretation of the Constitution. The Constitution did not make provisions for national banks or any of the other parts of Hamilton’s plan. Nevertheless, the Bank of the United States was established in 1791.

Categories: Must Reads, Nonfiction.

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Honors Project Part V by Hades

June 23, 2011

1770s-1780s

In which America gains its independence.

In 1774, delegates from every colony except for Georgia met to formulate a response to the Coercive Acts. Famous attendees include John Adams, George Washington, Samuel Adams, and Patrick Henry. John Adams proposed the Declaration of Rights and Resolves. It stated that Americans had the right to control their own legislation, but Parliament could control commerce between the colonies and foreign countries. This meeting, the First Continental Congress, also resolved to boycott British goods for a year.

The next year, more British troops were sent to Massachusetts to control the colony that King George III felt was in a state of rebellion. The soldiers were trying to prevent a second meeting of the Continental Congress.

Redcoats were sent to seize weapons and gunpowder from the colonists, and arrest to Patriot leaders, John Hancock and Sam Adams in Concord, Massachusetts. They clashed with militiamen in Lexington, Massachusetts. This battle was the first in the American War for Independence.

Although the British attempted to prevent it, the Second Continental Congress met in May, 1775. They appointed George Washington Commander in Chief of the Continental Army. They also wrote the Olive Branch Petition which asked King George to intercede with Parliament on the colonists’ behalf. In effect, the Second Continental Congress was becoming America’s new government.

Britain passed the Prohibitory Act in 1776. All colonial ports were closed, and treason was redefined as any resistance to British rule. In response, Congress opened port to international trade and authorized privateers to attack British ships. Thomas Jefferson drafted the Declaration of Independence which formally broke ties between American and Britain. On July fourth, 1776, the Declaration of Independence was approved by Congress.

The document as well as the principles of the American Revolution was influenced by Enlightenment philosophy. Ideals of a balanced, democratic government, perfecting human society, reason, and the role of the individual came from the Age of Reason. Many colonial leaders including Benjamin Franklin and Thomas Jefferson were deists. They relied on logic and science instead of faith. These values were reflected in the Declaration.

During the first few battles of the Revolutionary War, the British were able to defeat the Continental Army through a combination of superior numbers and strategy. However, in 1776, the colonial army captured about a thousand British soldiers at Trenton, New Jersey. This was General Washington’s first true victory.

America won more battles. Then, in 1777, the American militia forced British General Burgoyne to surrender at Saratoga, New York. This victory convinced France to support the American rebels in their battles against the British.

France and America signed the Treaty of Alliance in 1778. It stipulated France would not stop fighting until America won its independence, neither country would stop until they emerged victorious, and both were responsible for protecting America against all other powers. In the same year, Britain decided to meet all American demands made prior to 1775 in hopes of ending the war and retaining control of the colonies. At this point, only total independence would satisfy the colonists. The offers were rejected.

By 1779, Britain was fighting America, France, Spain, and the Netherlands simultaneously. In an attempt to cut off the colonies, they blockaded the American coast. Because France had a large, powerful fleet, this tactic was ineffective.

During 1779 and 1780, the British captured Georgia and moved on to the Carolinas. South Carolina was almost subdued, but Britain overreached themselves. Two subordinates of General Cornwallis were captured by the Patriots.

General Washington and French commander Comte de Rochambeau surrounded Cornwallis and forced him to surrender in 1781. At the same time, the French fleet attacked and defeated the British navy. Although American victory seemed inevitable, King George decided to continue the war.

Britain was in debt, and suffering losses not only in the Americas, but also in other colonial areas. In 1782, Parliament voted to discontinue the war. Lord North resigned. The new Prime Minister, Lord Rockingham wanted to negotiate a peace treaty. Benjamin Franklin, John Adams, and John Jay were appointed by the Continental Congress to travel to Paris to talk with the British.

The diplomats were supposed to consult with their French allies before making a final settlement. The Americans were perturbed by this arrangement because
France was allied with both America and Spain. They were attempting to help Spain win back a small peninsula bordering Spain, Gibraltar, from the British. It was possible that the French would try to use American land west of the Appalachians to bargain with if they could not capture Gibraltar. Although France wanted to destroy the British Empire, they didn’t want the newly independent US to become a threat.

It seemed increasingly likely that European countries would cede all the land bordering America. Jay and Franklin held speparate negotiations with the British. They insisted that Britain recognize their independence, and withdraw British troops from America as soon as possible.

The American border was set to include everything south of the Great Lakes, east of the Mississippi River, and north of Florida. Florida would be returned to Spain, and Britain would  keep Canada. In addition, British merchants would be allowed to continue trading and collecting debts in the United States.

In 1783, France and Spain stopped trying to recapture Gibraltar. They agreed to make peace with the British. The Treaty of Paris was signed that year.

America began organizing their government during the Revolutionary War. Continental Congress was acting as a legislature without any constitutional basis. To give it legal authority, a national constitution was drafted in 1776. It was submitted for approval by the states the next year. In 1781, the first national constitution was ratified. It was called The Articles of Confederation.

The Articles linked the thirteen states into a country, and gave the Continental Congress a legal basis for their power. However, Congress could not levy taxes, regulate trade, or enforce new laws. The legislature had only one branch in which each state received one vote. Nine states had to approve in order to pass a bill about war, treaties, military or finances, while constitutional amendments required unanimous approval.

As a result of these political changes, a social revolution occurred. Most land-related voting requirements were dropped, allowing the majority of white men to vote. The Anglican Church was dissolved and reformed as the Protestant Episcopal Church to break its ties to England. There was greater religious freedom, and separation between church and state increased.

Starting with Pennsylvania in 1780, every northern state abolished slavery. Many southern states relaxed manumission laws which prevented owners from freeing their slaves. About ten thousand slaves were freed by their owners between 1782 and 1790. However, even in the North segregation prevented African Americans from holding specific jobs, purchasing property, and going to school.

Many Congressmen wanted to abolish slavery altogether. However, they decided that the issue would take too long to resolve, and cause division between the states. Slavery was outlawed only in areas where it wasn’t economically important.

Women could not vote, preach, hold office, or get divorced during the 1700s. In many states, they lacked the ability own property, and had no legal rights to their children. Although John Adams’ wife Abigail advised him to secure women’s rights in the constitution, he did not comply.

One area that saw significant progress was education. The first American history textbook was published in 1787. Eight new colleges were founded during the 1780s, almost doubling the original number.  Americans grew more interested in public schooling.

Categories: Must Reads, Nonfiction.

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Honors Project Part IV by Hades

June 23, 2011

1760s-1770s

In which Britain exercises their right to tax, and the colonies exercise their right to protest.

The Seven Years War and French and Indian War left Britain in dire financial straits. The issued the Proclamation of 1763 which forced colonists to stay east of the Appalachian Mountains. They wanted the settlers to stay in areas the British controlled so that they could be taxed.

Prime Minister William Pitt decided to keep a large force of British soldiers in the American colonies, increasing Britain’s debt. Parliament started strictly enforcing the Navigation Act of 1660 in order to raise revenue. However, this merely increased smuggling and did not make much money.

George Grenville succeeded Pitt as Prime Minister. Grenville resolved to make the colonists pay  what he felt was their fair share of the war cost.He reasoned that because the French and Indian War was fought to protect the colonies, they should contribute via taxes.  He started by passing the Sugar Act or Revenue Act in 1764. It placed tariffs on sugar, wine, coffee, and other goods the colonies imported.

Because they lacked representation in Parliament, the colonists thought these taxes were unjust. They continued their smuggling activities to avoid the Sugar Act. Grenville argued that Parliament represented all members of the British Empire, but the Americans ignored him. When the Sugar Act failed to generate revenue, the Stamp Act replaced it.

Under the Stamp Act, all printed materials had to bear a special stamp to show that one had paid the tax. This duty effected legal documents, playing cards, pamphlets, newspapers, and other printed goods. Although this type of tax existed in England, the colonists were resentful.  In 1765, delegates from nine colonies met and started a petition to repeal the Stamp Act.

When Parliament ignored them, colonists started organizing assemblies like the Sons of Liberty. These groups started riots, vandalized the homes of stamp distributors, and intimidated stamp agents into resigning their posts. By the time the law came into effect, there were no stamp distributors left.

In addition, colonists boycotted British goods and cut down on imports in general. Parliament was forced to repeal the Stamp Act. However, they passed the Declaratory Act which gave England the authority to pass any laws they wanted in the colonies. This gave Britain absolute power over the colonists.

In 1767, the Townshend Duties were enacted. The Townshend Duties taxed glass, lead, paint, silk, tea, and other colonial imports. The revenue from these taxes went to support American ports. Many British troops were also withdrawn from the colonies.

Although some colonists boycotted these taxes, others did not. It was a relatively small, indirect tax that benefitted them directly. Smuggling was so widespread that most people could easily avoid the Townshend Duties anyways.

When the duties failed to raise much revenue, more soldiers were sent to the colonies. Colonists worried that their rights were going to be forcibly taken away. There were frequent conflicts between British soldiers (dubbed Redcoats due to their scarlet uniforms) and rebellious colonists.

In 1770, a conflict between the two groups turned bloody. Five colonists were killed by British soldiers in Boston, Massachusetts. They had been threatening the soldiers and throwing snowballs at them. One Redcoat panicked and fired at the mob. The event was dubbed the Boston Massacre.

John Adams, a fierce Patriot, defended the British as an attorney to ensure the soldiers would have a fair trial. All but two were acquitted, and the pair was only charged for manslaughter. The New Prime Minister, Lord North repealed all of the Townshend Duties except for the Tea Tax that same year.

By 1773, the British East India Trading Company was facing bankruptcy. American boycotts and smuggling contributed to their financial woes. Fearful of losing revenue, the British government passed the Tea Act.

It allowed th company to forego wholesalers and sell directly to American merchants. This reduce prices so much that it was more expensive to buy from smugglers than from legitimate venues. Colonists were incensed. They believed that they were being duped into paying the tea tax. Protests were common, and mobs blocked the ports to stop tea from being unloaded.

Governor Thomas Hutchinson of Massachusetts ordered three ships with cargoes of tea to stay in Boston harbor until they cold take their goods to shore. He wanted the Boston rebels to respect British authority. Instead, the Sons of Liberty snuck aboard the ships disguised as Native Americans. They dumped the tea into Boston Harbor.

Opinion among patriots was mixed. John Adams supported this drastic action while Benjamin Franklin thought it was wrong to destroy private property. Although many colonists opposed the actions of the Sons of Liberty, Lord North decided it was time that the Massachusetts colonists were punished for their rebelliousness.

In 1774, the Coercive Acts were passed. They consisted of The Boston Port Act which closed Boston Harbor to commercial traffic until they paid for the wasted tea, the Administration of Justice Act which transferred legal cases involving royal officials to Britain, the Massachusetts Government Act which increased governor’s power while decreased local authority,
and the Quartering Act which forced citizens to house British soldiers. They also passed the Quebec Act, which extended the Canadian border to include the Ohio River Valley even though the land was already claimed by Massachusetts, Connecticut, and Virginia.

These laws were called the Intolerable Acts in the colonies. The Coercive Acts were designed to punish Massachusetts alone. Lord North assumed that each colony was an individual body, and the rest would not care about the plight of Massachusetts. Lord North was wrong. Many colonists, both in and outside of Massachusetts felt that their freedom was being directly threatened. The fact that Britain claimed absolute authority over them rankled.

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Honors Project Part III by Hades

June 23, 2011

1690s-1760s

In which the Age of Reason and the Great Awakening make Waves, tensions with France rise, and there are Consequences.

In addition to conflicts with the French, British colonists had to deal with internal struggles. Between 1691 and 1693, the Salem Witch Trial caused hundreds of deaths and many more imprisonments. The Witch Trials occurred in the fervently religious New England Colonies.

The end of the Witch Trials marked the beginning of the Age of Reason in America. The Age of Reason or the Enlightenment was a cultural movement that began in Europe around the end of the Thirty Years War in 1648. According the Enlightenment ideals, humans could discover objective truth and understanding of the natural world through close observation. Mathematics and science were celebrated in poetry, art, music, and architecture.

Francis Bacon, John Locke, George Berkley, David Hume, Voltaire, Robert Hooke, Isaac Newton, and Jean-Jacques Rousseau were some of Europe’s greatest Enlightenment thinkers. Their works traveled to the American colonies, sparking an era of Enlightenment thinking. Many leaders of the American Revolution were inspired by the Enlightenment.

The Age of Reason had an effect on religion in the colonies. Some came to believe that Christ was entirely human and that God saved sinners because they would go on to do good of their own free will, not because of predestination. Others came to reject the Bible and religious dogma altogether. Deism, a belief system that proposes the God created the universe then ceased to interfere developed at this time. Famous American deists include Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin, George Washington, and Thomas Paine. The effects were not extremely wide spread because the Age of Reason generally impacted the wealthy alone.

Despite ideas introduced by the Age of Reason, religion remained an integral part of life in Europe and in the colonies.  However, in America many people lived far away from churches. To attract people from isolated areas, a new system called revivalism was developed. Revivals involved a preacher giving a dramatic, theatrical sermon in order to elicit spiritual outpourings from his congregation. These events could attract hundreds or even thousands of listeners.

Due to revivalism, church membership increased, especially among young men. Churches competed against each other for potential members. This period of increased religious fervor started in the 1730s. It is referred to as the First Great Awakening.

Although it rekindled interest in religion, many ministers disliked the flamboyant new preachers. Revivalism lured people away from their congregations and made spiritual claims based on personal experience rather than church doctrine or the Bible. Many members of more traditional sects such as Congregationalists and Presbyterians joined new groups like the Baptists or Methodists.

Demand for ministers increased so more people went to colleges and universities. The majority of new preachers thought salvation was a responsibility that belonged to men, not God. This conflicted with traditional church doctrine. Colleges such as Dartmouth, Brown, Rutgers, and Princeton produced many Great Awakening ministers and preachers.

The Great Awakening was one of the first truly American experiences. It wasn’t a movement that migrated from Europe, and it impacted people in all levels of society. It also contributed to religious freedom. While the Age of Reason promoted the right for one to choose a religion, the Great Awakening affirmed the right of dissenters to worship without government interference.

During the peak of the Enlightenment and Great Awakening, tensions between colonial America and New France intensified. French trappers allied with the local Huron Indians against the British settlers and Iroquois tribes to the south. The French wanted to expand south toward the Ohio Valley for trapping opportunities. Britain wanted to claim the same land for their settlers.

Britain was involved with the War of Spanish Succession in the early 1700s. The king of France’s grandson had been named heir to the Spanish throne. Most European countries, including Britain backed an Austrian Hapsburg candidate. They worried that France and Spain would unite if Philip of France inherited the Spanish throne.

This led to a war. France suffered numerous defeats. Although Philip did become king of Spain, he and King Louis XIV were forced to sign the Treaty of Utretch. Under the treaty, Philip had to abandon all territories outside Spain and Austria, and Louis had to promise not to unite Spain and France.

As a result, relations between the British colonies and New France deteriorated. In 1745, Britain invaded Nova Scotia. The French attempted to regain their lost land. They were unsuccessful. New England colonists planned to invade New France, but their plans were stopped when a peace treaty was signed in 1748.

However, in the 1750s, tensions rose again. Marquis Duquesne of France established new settlements that were threateningly close to British holdings. In 1754, the French started building Fort Duquesne in a remote region of Virginia. Colonel George Washington and 150 soldiers were dispatched to interrupt the construction.

Washington and his men encountered French and Huron forces on their way to the fort. This skirmish marked the beginning of the French and Indian War. The colonies started organizing a defense force and planned to raise taxes to support the war effort.

North American violence spread to Europe. In 1756, the Seven Years War began. France, Austria, and Russia united against Britain and the rising power of Prussia. The fighting spread to colonial regions of Africa, South America, and the East and West Indies.Unlike previous conflicts, this war began in the Americas and spread to Europe. The colonies were becoming increasingly valuable and strategically important.

Initially, British forces were disorganized. They lost several battles. Despite their initial failures, they pulled ahead. Quebec was captured in 1759 and Montreal the year after. These two settlements were the largest in New France. Shortly afterward, France surrendered.

The Paris Peace Settlement was signed in 1763. France was forced to cede all of its New World holdings to Britain. Britain deported many French settlers to New Orleans and cleared Native Americans from tribal lands to make room for white settlers. Some tribes revolted. In response, the British gave them blankets infected with smallpox. The disease would decimate local populations, leaving the tribes vulnerable.

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Honors Project Part II by Hades

June 22, 2011

Please read and comment.

1530s-1680s

In which France and Britain establish their own colonies, America develops, and the expansion causes Problems.

France, Britain, and the Netherlands all expressed interest in establishing New World colonies. However, they had to satisfy themselves with attacking Spanish and Portuguese ships and settlements. Due in part to labor shortage, the Spanish New World Empire began to decline during the 1600s. In 1665, England captured Jamaica.
The French and British established successful colonies in North America. These settlements threatened Spanish holdings in Texas, Florida, and California.

Despite a distinct lack of precious metals, the North American colonies proved to be very profitable. The French set up valuable fur trading industries in Canada with the help of local Native American tribes. British colonies in Virginia exported tobacco. In 1619, the first African slaves arrived in Virginia to help harvest their crops. Virginia’s population grew quickly. It became a Royal Colony in 1624.

In 1558, the Anglican Church became England’s state church. Extreme Protestants still felt that the new church was too tied to its Catholic roots. Calvinism, a more radical form of Protestantism was spreading through the Netherlands, Switzerland, Scotland, and France. This resulted in a civil war between French Protestants (called Huguenots) and Catholics. King Phillip II of Spain attempted to stop the spread of Protestantism in his country by brutally oppressing anyone who didn’t conform to Catholicism.

The Netherlands, which were controlled by Spain at the time, rebelled. With the help of England, they gained independence from Spain. To retaliate, Spain attacked England in 1588. Due to bad weather and England’s naval power, Spain’s fleet was destroyed.

The oppression of Protestants led to increased immigration to the Americas. Dutch Calvinists settled in New Amsterdam (now New York). In 1655, they captured New Sweden (Delaware). Huguenots from France went to Quebec and Montreal, fur trading settlements in modern day Canada.

In England, a sect of Protestants known as Puritans emerged. Puritans felt that the Anglican Church was still too close to its Catholic roots. The strongest Puritans were called Separatists. They left the Church of England in 1606. In 1620, they established their own colony in New England.

Between 1618 and 1648, the Thirty Year War raged between European Catholics and Protestants. Spain, Germany, Denmark, Sweden, and France were embroiled in the struggle. Because of the conflict, emigration from these countries was restricted.

Due in part to the Thirty Years War, between 16,000 and 20,000 Puritans left England for America during the 1630s. This exodus is known as the Great Migration. Because of the influx of European settlers, there was a war between British Colonists and Native American in 1644. The tribes were defeated and forced to move west.

Meanwhile, England was experiencing its own difficulties. A civil war occurred between Calvinists and Anglicans in 1642. King Charles was overthrown and executed. In 1649, Oliver Cromwell took power. He gave himself the title Lord Protector, and ruled Britain as a military dictator. During Cromwell’s reign, fewer people immigrated to the New World because of increased restrictions on travel.

In 1660, Cromwell died and the monarchy was restored. Charles II became king. Under Charles, England captured New Amsterdam from their previous allies, the Dutch in 1664. They renamed the area New York. People from diverse European countries settled in the region. Because they lacked an ethnic or religious majority, New York was one of the most tolerant colonies.

To strengthen the British economy and protect merchants from foreign traders, the Navigation Act was passed by Parliament in 1660. The Navigation Act listed specific goods that could only be carried by English ships. The main purpose of the act was to stop Dutch traders profiting from English markets.

By the 1680s, there were three distinct regions in the American colonies. The New England colonies (or Northern Colonies) were predominantly Puritan. The church controlled the government and had little tolerance for any form of dissention. Mills, fishing and ship building industries, and ports made settlements in the area very wealthy. The New England colonies included Massachusetts, Connecticut, New Hampshire and Rhode Island.

New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania and Delaware were called the Middle Colonies. They had diverse, urban populations. Exports included grain, fur, and lumber. Due to their profitable ports, religious dissention was tolerated by English officials.

The final group was the Southern colonies. They were composed of Maryland, Virginia, the Carolinas, and Georgia. They all had rural populations, and a plantation-based economy. The plantations promoted racial and class-based segregation. In addition, the economy was entirely dependent of European markets for tobacco, rice, and indigo.

Many French settlers immigrated to the Americas during the 1680s. In 1685, King Louis XIV revoked the Edict of Nantes, stripping Protestants of their rights. Many Huguenots left France. Their Canadian colonies expanded south.

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Honors Project Part I by Hades

June 22, 2011

From the late 1400s until Reconstruction, America was closely linked to Britain and other European nations. Until the Revolutionary War, America was subject to laws passed by England. Even afterward, the United States continued to be affected by European wars, culture, and inventions.

Please give me feedback on this essay! It is an honors project for my US History class, so I would really appreciate your opinions.

1490s-1520s

In which Christopher Columbus stumbles upon the Americas, and the Spainiards and Portuguese are grabby.

In 1492, Italian explorer Christopher Columbus became the first European to set foot in the Caribbean. He claimed the region for Spain. Europeans speculated that a route to Asia might lie somewhere in the “New World.” This made the Americas very valuable real-estate. Under the Treaty of Tordesillas, the New Worlds was divided between Spain and Portugal. Spain received most of the Americas while Portugal was granted Brazil and Africa.

During the 1500s, the greatest civilizations in the world were in Asia. European merchants wanted access to Asian silk, jewels, spices, and other luxury goods. However, hostile Muslim states such as the Ottoman Empire stood in between the traders and their prize. In order to safely travel to Asia, merchants had to pay hefty sums to the Ottomans.

The Ottoman Turks controlled the Black Sea, much of the Eastern Mediterranean, and the western ends of the land route to China and India. European explorers wanted to find another, safer, less expensive way to Asian markets. However, no water route through the Americas was found.

Interest in the New World was rekindled once gold was discovered in South and Central America. In 1519, Herman Cortes began his conquest of the Aztec empire in modern day
Mexico. Using superior weapons, the Spaniards were able to topple the civilization in only three years. They were aided by smallpox, a European disease which decimated native populations. People in the New World had never encountered Old World diseases, so they had no natural immunities.

Soon after the collapse of the Aztec Empire, the Incas of South America were conquered by the Spanish. Spain became wealthy with New World gold. In 1519, the same year that Cortes began his campaign against the Aztecs, King Charles of Spain became Holy Roman Emperor. This gave his authority over Spain, the Netherlands and large portions of Italy. When Charles was appointed, the Hapsburg Dynasty, which would last two hundred years, began.

Another event which would, in time, have profound effects on the New World occurred in 1517. Martin Luther, a German monk, wrote his 95 Theses which expressed his displeasure with the Catholic Church. His words resonated with many Christians who felt that the Church had become corrupt. The resulting political and religious turbulence was part of the Protestant Reform Movement.

The Protestant Reformation divided Europe. However, the continent was threatened by another power: the predominantly Muslim Ottoman Turks. The Ottomans controlled much of the Middle East by 1516. In 1526, they defeated Hungary, and three years later, they besieged Vienna. Vienna was the home of the Hapsburg Emperors. Although the attack was repelled, the Ottomans were a force to be reckoned with.

Around the same time, the New World replaced Africa as the primary source for European gold. Portugal started settling the coast of West Africa during the 1400s. In 1502, the Portuguese trading posts became a source of human labor. Enslaved Africans were shipped to the Americas to provide workers. European diseases and Spanish conquest had killed thousands of Native Americans, so the European conquerors needed another long term labor force.

Meanwhile, in China the Ming leaders decided to close their borders to foreigners. They resisted European trade. Due to their isolation, they would lose their technological superiority over the next few centuries. Interest in Asian trade decreased, and Europe’s attention turned to the Americas.

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History is fun…ish

June 21, 2011

I am doing an Honors project for US History through my online school. I was trying to finish it before the regular school year ended, but it didn’t work out. Initially, I had planned to present it for a middle school class.

Instead, I was wondering if I could publish it here and get some feedback. It’s an essay, and it isn’t terribly exciting, but I’d appreciate it if you read at least some of it.

Because it’s pretty long, I’m going to post it in several parts. Please let me know what you think!

My premise is:

From the late 1400s until Reconstruction, America was closely linked to Britain and other European nations. Until the Revolutionary War, America was subject to laws passed by England. Even afterward, the United States continued to be affected by European wars, culture, and inventions.

Categories: Must Reads, Nonfiction, WORST.

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i don’t have a title yet

June 19, 2011

 

 

 

TITLE

by John Burcham

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Part One

 

 

 

 

 

 

one

 

Urch was hungry, he hadn’t eaten for three days. At least he had a life, unlike most, and he wasn’t thirsty that was good. he couldn’t sleep.

Mai shifted in her sleep, at least his friends could sleep.

Urch quietly creeped over his friend and looked out a window..their was a patroller coming!

He and his friends could easily scare him off, but they had to be awake!!! he quickly woke his friends with a special non-suspicious call, his friends immediately got up and got ready to scare the patroller away.

Mai let loose a bloodcurdling scream, James made moaning sounds. The patroller was getting creeped. Chaz had his costume on and he suddenly jumped out of his hiding place and ran right to the patroller and said “hand over everything or I will take your soul.”

The patroller dropped everything and ran for his life.

 

two

Urch sets the pack down on the table. Mai thrusts a cup full of straws at Urch.

“Pick one,” she says. “Whoever gets the tallest gets most of the loot.”

Urch picks the tallest one. There is a piece of napkin balled up under it, which made it look taller.

Mai smirks at Urch and pulls out the straw that looks the shortest but is the smallest. “Gotcha,” she says.

“I should really be getting the most food because I eat the most,” Chaz says as Mai reaches for the pack. He pats his large stomach.

Mai says, “I made sure you didn’t arrange the straws this time for a reason.”

Chaz laughs.

James just sits in the corner with his nose in a book.

Mai picks up the bag and pours the contents out on the table.

“Score!” Chaz yells.

There is canned peaches. Peaches. Biscuits. And a canteen filled to the brim with good-tasting drink. And there’s also a small laser pistol, some coins, and a picture of the patroller’s family.

They dig in. Chaz jumps for the peaches. Mai tackles him.

“I got it!” Chaz laughs as Urch yells

“DOGPILE!” And leaps onto Chaz.

Chaz drops the peaches. Suddenly they are floating in the air.

“What?” Mai says.

The peaches fall into James’ hand. James goes back into his corner, pops open the can, and enjoys the treat.

“Telekinesis. So not fair,” Mai huffs.

Urch runs up, grabs a few biscuits, jumps down onto a ruined couch, and eats some. Chaz and Mai walk up to the biscuits grumbling and grab some. Mai sits down on a lazy chair and Chaz sits next to Urch. James also grabs the gun and one of the seven coins, returns to his corner, and reads.

Mai hurriedly grabs the rest of the coins and walks outside. Chaz grabs the canteen pours himself a cup and seats himself on the lazy chair.

Suddenly Mai runs back inside and and yells “Rangers!”

Chaz, Urch, and James run to a latter and climb up into the loft. Mai quickly climbed up after them and ran to Urch who was handing out some weapons to Chaz and James and then grabbed a rifle and ran then hid with Chaz in a closet. Mai soon joined him James ran to the opening to the loft and shut the opening to the loft.

They heard the rangers bust through the door and yell police officers and someone say, “No one’s here.”

“Well this is uncomfortable,” Urch thought.

Suddenly he saw James climbing over the the covered opening to the loft then the cover to the loft smashed upward and sent James flying in the air then smashed into the wall and the rangers jumped up and through the now uncovered opening to the loft and shot James.

Suddenly he was back to present and James was starting to climb over the opening to the loft! James ran up to Jason and tackled him just barely saving him from being killed by the rangers! The opening to the loft was now destroyed and two rangers were jumping up the hole. Mai shot the first one and Chaz got got the second then James and Urch shot all the ones climbing up.

“Thanks,” Jason said to Urch.

“Anytime,” said Urch

What… just happened? Asked Mai. I… I don’t know. Said Urch. Urch started to examining the closest ranger. Suddenly a small robotic head popped out of the ranger and started poking the ranger and made sounds like it was fixing something. Urch looked at the hole the the gun had made. In the hole instead of flesh and bones like he was expecting, there was machinery! And the small robotic head was fixing it!

 

 

Categories: I'M TO LAZY TO CORRECTLY CATAGORIZE MY STORY!!!!!!!!!! :P.

i am finally allowed on worst ending!!!!!

June 19, 2011

Hello people. I am miracle’s younger brother (no not Artemis) and i am finally allowed on worst ending!!!!!

Categories: I'M TO LAZY TO CORRECTLY CATAGORIZE MY STORY!!!!!!!!!! :P.

An Ideal Democracy

June 8, 2011

An Ideal Democracy

A satirical essay on populism by a friend of mine who gave me permission to share it.

By “Edgor Hon”

(My friend didn’t want his real name used. He says he doesn’t want to be associated with his essay unless “it becomes famous.” He also wants you to know that he is a Japanese-Nordic Penguin)
Ideally, the people run a democracy, as Abraham Lincoln said in his Gettysburg address, “…the government of the people, by the people, for the people shall not perish from this earth.”

However, the majority of elected politicians are of the upper class, such as lawyers, with their elaborate mansions, suits, and law degrees from pretentious universities like Harvard, Yale, or Lane Community College. They only represent the upper class, and they are analogous to King George during the American War of Independence. These politicians are making policies without representing the people, just as King George taxed the colonies without representation.

We must enlist one hundred random people into the Senate. However, to avoid statistical anomalies, like all of the one hundred people are arrogant Harvard
graduates with Ph.D.’s and have six or seven digit salaries, we must create a set of criteria that we use to filter candidates. The filters must be the qualities of the average person.

First, the candidates can’t have too much money because they will become corrupt and try to pocket tax dollars. Also they don’t know the quality of life for the average person, especially in this economy. They’ll probably try to increase taxes on everyone earning less than $250,000. Second, we can’t have people who went to college because they are too educated. Knowledge corrupts, so these learnt people will become greedy and give themselves benefits, like getting free food from Red Lobster because they are educated. Learnt people also have high salaries, so they probably are too wealthy anyways. Since the majority is Democrat, only Democrats may constitute the Senate. Also, African-Americans and Caucasians constitute the majority, so only they can be members of the Senate. For the same reason, we can’t have foreigners and naturalized citizens in the Senate.

We also need people who know about the experiences of the common person. About eight of the Senators must be convicted felons, since only they know about life
in prison. Another twenty must originate from the Deep South i.e. Southern Democrats, so we can give segregation a fair chance and so that the South can influence the government. Since a large number of Americans have used drugs, exactly thirty of the Senators have to have used drugs once.

Those who want power are usually those who shouldn’t have it, so the President must not know he or she is the President. We need to abolish presidential elections and just randomly select a random person who will be ostracized by being forced into a hut in a random remote location, such as the Gobi Desert, Easter Islands, or the middle of Antarctica. To prevent this person from knowing he/she is the President, the future President is drugged and carried on a fake Japanese whaling boat to Wizard Island in the middle of Crater Lake. This person’s home will be burnt and any traces of his or her existence will be annihilated, like phone bills and copies of the President’s unpublished book that depicts an insignificant person metamorphosing into a kitchen sponge. Anyone who knew the President will be put to jail or an asylum for existing (This will not violate habeas corpus because the person will be forced to dispute his or her existence and be put in an asylum), or be isolated in another remote place and be given the title of Vice President. Inebriated messengers will be sent to deliver the bills to the President, so he or she can sign or veto the bill.

A permanent judicial branch is unnecessary. The Senators can ask random people on the streets to evaluate if a bill is unconstitutional by having them read the Constitution of the United States and determine if the bill violates it. For example, a law requiring criminals to run treadmills and pedal bicycles to produce energy would be unconstitutional by the Thirteenth Amendment because it would be considered slavery to most people.

The United States’ Government system is imperfect; we must appeal to the average person to create a true democracy. The final step is to cleanse the Constitution of any Amendments that don’t appeal to the average person such as the Thirteenth or Nineteenth.

 

 

 

Categories: I'M TO LAZY TO CORRECTLY CATAGORIZE MY STORY!!!!!!!!!! :P.

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“Granny Smith”

June 6, 2011

There are no windows in my house
No doors or staircases
Not even mouse traps so
You can knock down my walls and then
Eat my insides and digest my skin
I keep my starry shapes hidden within

There are no boundaries to the sky
No reasons for ending
So we can fish in its depths
We can stand on our clouds and then
Laugh till we’re sick, slap ourselves silly
Sunsets paint our cheeks pink with their lovely touch

Peel and peel in circles ’round my thoughts
And mind
And heart
Wind and grind my feelings into the ground
Because you can
Because you will
When I don’t know why
Twist my wrists and words till they are burnt
Crisp
And red
Take and break my love
Because you can
Because you will
Because you do

There are windows in my eyes
Doors in my ears
And mouse traps on my tongue so
I can watch you deface my walls and then
Crunch my insides and detest my “sin”
I’m civil outside but I’m screeching within.

Categories: I'M TO LAZY TO CORRECTLY CATAGORIZE MY STORY!!!!!!!!!! :P.