last night i happened to run across this old thing that myth posted back in april… man. i laughed my head off. anyway, if you never read this, YOU MUST. and if you already did, well, read it again! it’s so hilarious i almost DIED laughing… myth does have a way of doing that. this post must not be forgotten! it shall not be lost in the sands of… posts! WE MUST REMEMBER HOW WE NEARLY DIED LAUGHING! 
~Sandy (and i couldn’t decide what to post it under, so it’s in all the categories )
http://theworstending.com/?p=2178
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Dedicated to:
Em-you helped me come up with this on the phone. Well, you didn’t say really any of it (a line or two), but you still inspired it 
Miss ya, ’sis’! (And yeah, Sandy, you got on the phone later or I dunno…but the point is you heard it too LOL!)
The way I see it, your muse is like a person.
To be more specific, it is like a human in the sense that it has different moods and different sides.
If your muse whispers to you “Kill this person” or “Make this horrible thing happen that you really don’t even want to make happen”, then it is being evil.
On its best days, it is a majestic eagle, or a graceful unicorn.
On its worst days, it is like a munching parasite, or a greedy termite.
When it is evil, it eats at your mind and turns what it eats into dark energy.
This is bad.
When your muse runs away, it is like a disobedient child. It leaves you feeling empty and confused, and it loves to make you feel so. It relishes your discomfort.
It will come skipping home, an evil grin on its face. You may think that punishing it will just make it run away again, but really that will only make it think, “Well, ‘Mother dear’ didn’t punish me. It must she doesn’t really care…which means I can do whatever I want, all the time!!!!”
Trust me-that is a bad idea.
When it does come home, you ought to spank it and send it to bed with no supper.
Sober it.
Then hopefully by morning it will come to you with its hands clasped behind its back and its head down. It will say, “I’m very sorry.”
You can then forgive it and give it breakfast. It will be quite hungry by now.
However, I am not telling you to punish it eeeevery time it does something-because there will always be a time it does something. That’s the way most muses are. They are rebellious, and they like to have their say and go their own way.
But you do need to punish it every now and then to remind it who is in charge.
Because you ought to be in charge.
Most of the time.
I say ‘most of the time’ because there are, in fact, times where you can let your muse lead, and when you do so, you will find it leads you to a most agreeable place.
But don’t let it rule you.
You’re boss.
Step up.
Crack down.
When it runs away, don’t coax it. Don’t write a poem that says:
Musie, Musie, where have you gone?
Musie, Musie, please come home!
Musie, Musie, I feel so alone!
Musie, Musie, please hear my song!
If you coax it, it will make you pay some price to get it to come back. You don’t need to pay to use your imagination or muse.
You own it. You get to say whats what in good ol’ Museville.
‘Musie dear’ is your child. You are its mother.
You are its ruler.
You are its owner.
Let’s all remember that, shall we? Because if we don’t, we’ll let our muses take over.
Very, very bad thing to do.
Usually.
Also, if it runs away, don’t go looking for it. Just let it come.
Of course, if it really won’t budge, then you can always get a friend or two to threaten to kick its butt into next week.
Next year.
Next century.
And try to pick some of your more intimidating, stronger friends.
That oughta scare little ol’ Musie good.
*Ghostbusters theme song*
When Musie runs away
And you can’t find him
Who can you gonna call?
Buttkickers!!!
(Your friends would be the Buttkickers by the way-and you would also be one because I’m sure you’ll wanna kick Musie’s butt when it runs away and then comes home and acts like nothing happened.)
So, when Muse acts up, you’re just gonna ignore him.
When he tries to get attention, you’re gonna pretend he doesn’t exist. Never did.
When Muse runs away, you’re not gonna panic.
Because you know your muse the best, and you know how to trick him into coming back.
Besides, you can always tell him you’ve just met a new muse and might forget about him now. The new muse is soooooo nice…
Trickery might sound terrible, but your muse is really untameable. So you can only do to it what it does to you.
Remember, your muse is like a disobedient, rebellious child.
Maybe it’s going through puberty.
Whatever the case, you’re its parent.
You’re in charge.
When it comes home, ya spank it and send it to bed with an empty stomach.
And ya move on with life.
Muses may seem to come and go, but there will never be a time when they’re gone completely.
They’re just hiding around the corner, waiting to see if you’ll come looking for them, stinky little buggers that they are.
Don’t.
Curl up in your LaZBoy, sipping your hot cocoa (in the dead of winter; your muse will probably be quite cold wherever he is hiding from you, and if its summer, he’ll be hot). Wrap yourself in a blanket and read a book.
Muse’ll come back.
Always does.
He can’t resist.
I’m done singin’ ma song now.
Oh wait.
*dorky weather person voice (imagine dorky weather person with dumb smile)* The weather today was hot and sunn, and tomorrow should be the same! Yay! Partaaaaaaaaaaaay!
Now I’m done singin’ ma song.
Peace out, ya’ll, and remember not to let Muse control you!
And if it tries, who ya gonna call?
*faint in background* Buttkickers!!!!
Yeah. Random. I admit it.
But still…
Peace out!
it’ and the first chapter i’m about to put up are quite obviously first drafts x) and btw, just so ya’ll know, i did look these character names up on a victorian baby name site – so they ARE in fact victorian.
Talk